#the directing and editing are questionable but the writing and acting chops make up for it imo
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marlenacantswim · 10 months ago
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favorite scene from Russell T. Davies's The Second Coming (2003) has gotta be when the Ninth Doctor (who is, in fact, the son of god) starts eating pasketti in front of the unwitting host from s4e10 "Midnight" and she immediately breaks down.
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biglisbonnews · 2 years ago
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20 Questions With Zolita, Cinematic Queer Superstar The art of the music video is sacred, and rising pop sensation Zolita is eager to show off her cinematic chops. From her mind to the screen, the California-based musician masterfully directs, produces and edits these viral moments herself. Its been a challenge to top herself with each release since she first captured our attention in 2015 with the release of "Explosion," but the dark-pop powerhouse's wealth of ideas shows no signs of drying up.Today, Zolita unleashes her long-awaited Falling Out/Falling In EP which features viral hits such as the tense "20 Questions" and the passionate "Ruin My Life." Although each track centers around universal feelings of lust, love and heartache, the openly lesbian singer roots her artistry in queer representation, which serves as the driving force for her music and has become a central point for each of her videos.For the "Crazy Ex" video, which premieres today, Zolita wanted to capture the nostalgia of early 00's pop-punk that soundtracked teen movies and lived in our iPods. "Thematically it’s the most unhinged," she says of the song. "And came to be when I imagined what my breakup would have been like had I been ‘the crazy ex’ and acted on every petty impulse I had." As purveyors of petty over here at PAPER, we can relate.Below, watch the video for "Crazy Ex" and read on for PAPER's juicy game of 20 questions with Zolita.Favorite song on the EP?This is hard! "Ashley" is definitely my sentimental favorite. But "Crazy Ex" is my other fave because it’s deranged in the most fun way.Favorite lyric?“I’d kill my career as long as you’re right here/ I wanna sneak out of every party, stop trying to be somebody.”Messiest breakup you've ever had?My messiest breakup is well documented in a past PAPER article... it was public and nasty!Related | Zolita Talks 'Big Dyke Energy' and Her Queer Heartbreak BangerWhen was your first kiss? My first girl kiss (not gonna count the boy kiss) was on the eve of my 18th birthday in my college dorm!Best gift you've ever given in a relationship? A framed original Avril Let Go tour poster!Best gift you've ever received in a relationship? My girlfriend has an embroidery company. Probably all the special things she's made for me. I'm a sucker for personal, homemade gifts.Most challenging part of making the EP?It was the first time I went into writing the music first versus coming up with video ideas first. So, when I chose the 6 songs for the EP, they were all very thematically different, and coming up with a narrative through line for the video series was challenging!Worst date you've ever been on?My worst date was with someone who talked probably 99% of the several hours I was with her, and then at the end of the date said, "Ugh, you are such a good listener! I could talk to you for hours and you never talk about yourself!"Best compliment you've ever received?It makes me really happy when people compliment my laugh.Who was your gay awakening?Freja Beha the model was definitely my first true gay awakening. And Brittana, of course.Most underrated song of yours?"I F*cking Love You"Favorite video you've shot for this EP?Definitely "Crazy Ex!" To get to dance on a bar Coyote Ugly style, perform in the back of a moving car, cry in the shower in a wedding dress, shoot a sex tape and get arrested by a hot officer all in one video... I am living the dream.Most memorable recording session?From this EP, probably "Crazy Ex!" We had been working on another idea for hours and then I was like, "honestly guys, I hate this." Which is hard for me to do as a people pleaser. And then we wrote “Crazy Ex.” So, big lesson learned. Honesty is rewarded.Go-to feel good song? "Perfect Day" by Hoku.Favorite piece of clothing for your perfect "get your ex mad" look?A really hot blazer with nothing underneath.Biggest dealbreaker?When someone is socially unaware or takes themselves too seriously. Also, if someone doesn’t respect that Lady Gaga is queen.Biggest takeaway from Falling Out / Falling In?Falling out of love is messy and painful as hell, but the feeling of falling in love is so magical that it makes it worth it.One thing you'd tell your younger self? Stop wasting so much energy on trying to look hot and weigh less! Your talent and drive are what will set you apart and attract all the right people.One thing you'd tell your older self, 15 years from now? Relax and enjoy the people you love! You deserve a break.One thing you want to take into 2023?I want to consume more art and fill up my creative cup. I’ve been so focused on output.Photo courtesy of Zolita https://www.papermag.com/zolita-crazy-ex-2659395733.html
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365days365movies · 4 years ago
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March 1, 2021: The Hobbit (Review)
Is “quaint” a good word here?
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Maybe its the beautiful backgrounds, maybe it’s the stylized designs that make me think of Christmas specials, maybe it’s the faithful take on a classic story that I loved as a kid, but...I dunno. Quaint’s the first thing that comes to mind here for me, for whatever reason.
All I know is that I did enjoy this movie well-enough...even if it’s not my favorite. Don’t get me wrong, this is still a great story, and I do love the original Tolkien tale very much...but I don’t know if I can say this was my favorite adaptation or not.
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Now, it got some things right that the Jackson movies didn’t, at last as far as I’m concerned. Thorin’s pretty good in this film, Gollum is great (as always), and it accurately sums up the story in a single movie without too much omitted (I do miss Beorn, though). But here’s the thing: the things that I think Jackson’s movies did wrong outnumber what this film did right.
You know, the weird addition of Tauriel and Legolas, the added Lake Town plot with fuckin’ Alfrid, the entire Azog thing, the fucking NECROMANCER thing, Rada...well, actually, I like Radagast. He was fun.
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And that’s not to say that Jackson’s movies did nothing right. Quite the contrary! I mean, Martin Freeman is a PERFECT Bilbo Baggins, and basically everybody is perfectly cast, to be honest. And that includes what I think is the best part of the films: Smaug, as portrayed by Benedict Cumberbatch. And yeah, that motion capture footage is hilarious, but it pays the fuck OFF, what can I tell ya? I mean...come on.
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Smaug in these movies is fucking AMAZING, and I genuinely love him. And...well, you know what, let’s actually get into the Review. Enough navel-gazing here. Here’s the Recap (Parts 1, 2, and 3), if you’d like to read that first! OK, let’s get this done and Reviewed!
Review
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Cast and Acting: 7/10
Given that this is an animated film, this is an interesting category to grade. I’ll be doing so based on their vocal performances, and...eh. For a Rankin-Bass movie, the vocal performances are a little standard. However, that doesn’t mean there aren’t some standouts. Orson Bean plays a kind and contemplative Bilbo, and while I don’t know that I like him quite as much as Martin Freeman, I do still like his performance. John Huston is likewise good as Gandalf, although Ian McKellen is...well, Ian McKellen, even in The Hobbit films. And then...there’s Brother Theodore. And, boy oh boy, do I love his Gollum a lot! I think he’s legitimately fantastic as this version of the character, and specifically as this version of the character. Andy Serkis is still the better Gollum, I think, but I do think that Theodore handles Gollum’s last line in this film better than Serkis did. However, I can see Serkis becoming the devious little monster he eventually becomes a lot more.
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Also, Hans Conried plays Thorin, and all I could hear was Captain Hook, like, the entire time. There are actually a lot of voice actors from the time period in here, like Don Messick, Paul Frees, and Thurl Ravenscroft, and they’re all fine. There’s also Richard Boone as Smaug, and...he’s OK. Not saying he’s great, but...he’s all right. His deep booming voice does work well for the role, and some of his line deliveries are pretty goddamn solid, but...I dunno, he just doesn’t bring the same gravelly gravitas that I expect of, well, a goddamn dragon, let’s be frank here.
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Plot and Writing: 9/10
What can I say? It’s Tolkien! And they’re pretty exact with their adaptation of the original work, as adapted and written by Romeo Muller. And yeah, Muller does a good job...but he also writes this similar to how he wrote all of the other Rank Bass specials. If there’s any problem, it’s that. But even then...I don’t know if I can call that a real problem. Still, I’ll take a point off for it, even though it’s really closer to half a point. If anything, I’m upset that Beorn was completely absent. You coulda worked him in, Romeo!
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Directing and Cinematography: 7/10
This is essentially judging the storyboarding, and how shots were positioned in the artistic process. And yeah, it’s...mostly good. Unfortunately, true to form for Rankin-Bass production, it often feels just a little too stiff in places. Makes sense since Arthur Rankin Jr. and Jules Bass are the directors. Not as bad as some of their other productions, but still definitely a notable quality of the film. So, points off for that, but the rest of it is honestly fine, especially for animation of the era. What came out from Disney that year?
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Oh, damn, the Rescuers? Yeah...shit, yeah, that looked WAY better, and that wasn’t even one of Disney’s best looking film up to that point. Although, different budgets should probably be taken into account. OK, moving on.
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Production and Art Design: 8/10
I like the backgrounds in this film a LOT, lemme tell you. They were done by Minoru Nishida, who’s done a hell of a lot of animation stuff, but was also the art director for Kill Bill Vol 1! Neat! But yeah, the backgrounds are absolutely gorgeous here. How about the rest of the art design? Characters were designed by Lester Abrams, then redesigned a bit by the Topcraft guys (specifically  Tsuguyuki Kubo), giving it the very stereotypical Rankin-Bass style that the movie is known for. And does it work? I mean...kinda. The good news is that the different races of Middle Earth are pretty goddamn distinguishable from each other, and creatively designed at that. The bad news...sorry, I never did get used to Smaug, I genuinely don’t like his design in this. Like...why the dog head? By all accounts, Smaug was a stereotypical wyrm-style dragon, with the reptilian features and I. I just...I don’t get it. Sorry, but Jackson’s Smaug wins here, hands down. But that said...I do like Gollum. It’s different, yeah, but I think his design works pretty well. After all, according to Tolkien, we’re not really supposed to know what Gollum is. And I think it works pretty goddamn well!
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Music and Editing: 7/10
Glenn Yarbrough. I love ya. I SWEAR, I do actually like you and your main contribution to this movie, The Greatest Adventure. But if I have to hear that song ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME in this movie, I swear...because they chop up the song and use it in EVERY AVAILABLE INSTANCE with Bilbo. And I guess it’s his leitmotif, but they use that song...A LOT. And not instrumentally, I mean with the goddamn lyrics. Just...tone it down a little, OK? But OK, what about the other music, by Maury Laws? I like it! There are some songs in here that are very catchy, and I might actually get “Down, Down, to Goblin Town” on my playlist. Not that it’s all great, but it works for the setting and for the tone of the movie. And what about the editing? Eh. Visual editing is pretty good, bu7t the sound editing is...it’s 1970s animation editing. Hell, even the Rescuers sound editing wasn’t amazing, when I think about it. It’s fine, but it isn’t great most of the time.
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Y’know...I think I can gel with a 76% here.
Yeah, I know, it’s low, but that’s because this movie was...good, but OK. I’m not necessarily saying that it was better or worse than the Jackson movies, because I think they compliment each other in some weird ways. I like Thorin as a character more here, but Smaug MUCH more in the Jackson films. While there definitely don’t need to be three Jackson movies...I’ll admit that I think this one is too short, coming in at only an hour and 18 minutes. And I gotta say, I love the fact that it’s animated...but the live-action films also look fantastic, I can never fault them for how they look (except for Dain...ugh). I think they’re similar, but different, at least for me.
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But OK, here’s a question: is it just because it’s a property that I really like, and I have my own internal vision of it, which might be influenced by the live-action films? Entirely a possibility. Watch this movie yourself, make your own score! See what you think. Meanwhile, I’m going to try an experiment.
Fantasy movie, same production company, same directors, same animators, also based off of a fantasy book. And, uh...I dunno, a unicorn, maybe?
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March 2, 2021: The Last Unicorn (1982)
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whateverthedragonswant · 4 years ago
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I do love me some good breakup tension - scene 2 (15x03)
Once again, my personal take. But after all of the stuff that occurred in the last 24 hours with the script leaks, tweets, etc. I’ve decided that SPN belongs to us now. The show is ours and we’re the ones who will keep it going now that the cast & crew are indeed finished and have moved on. The show wrote the clues before chopping up the finale and throwing it into that huge dumpster fire that they refuse to acknowledge except as the best finale ever, fine, we’ll do it ourselves. It’s ours now. I can live with that, no matter the damn script leaks or tweets that come our way. Dean loves Cas (all discourse about Dean preferring tacos to danglers aside - that shit still makes me cringe) and you cannot convince me otherwise. Look at the writing, look at the acting, look at the editing, hell even look at the music and the lighting. This is not just one-sided. Dean doesn’t just look at Cas as a brother or best friend or fellow soldier - it’s more than that. If you want to go by certain tweeters and how they view it, then you damn well know that if Cas was in a female vessel, this wouldn’t even be up for debate. So, the long and short of it, I’m taking Destiel back and you cannot justify these things to me with a platonic squint, these two and their interactions (especially in season 15) are too romantically coded by the damn show themselves for that.
The actual breakup itself in 15x03:
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(not sure what happened to the original video linked but linked another one, the times might be off)
2:31 - we see it hitting Dean, the hurtful words he’s said, after seeing Cas’ expression in response to “Yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?”
2:33 - we see Dean looking down and subtly shaking his head - he knows he messed up, that he shouldn’t have said that, that anger is running the show
2:43 - this expression right here is not only to prove a point to Cas about looking at him but also has that whole “come on, I can look at you”
2:49-2:56 - watch Dean’s expressions here as Cas says that his powers are failing, that he’s tried to talk to Dean, and Dean doesn’t care: Dean’s eyes move back and forth quickly, in the floor’s direction (this usually indicates strong emotions I think iirc); Dean rolls his eyes (and it looks almost like he takes a ragged breath in at the same time but maybe that’s just me) but notice the breath he takes and how his lips are parted (meaning his jaw is not clenched which would indicate nothing but anger), then notice how the area around his eyes soften; notice the tremble of his lower lip when Cas says “you don’t care”; then notice how Dean looks away for a second when Cas says “I’m dead to you” -- this is a man who clearly cares and is trying not to lose it, it could be to keep his anger in check after what he just said or it could be strong emotions he is having in response to the dialogue - either way, if Dean didn’t care, if this wasn’t a breakup, Dean could have stared straight ahead, jaw clenched, or an eye roll without the extra that was given (yes we can say Jensen had acting choices, but as we all are well aware of now, no matter what choice Jensen makes, it’s still ultimately up to the directors/editors/show on what gets through), yes he could still be emotionally affected by his dudebro leaving, but this isn’t the case and below (in bold) is why
3:00 - Cas says “You still blame me for Mary” and he stares straight at Dean, almost challenging him to refute that fact - we get Dean still not making eye contact and his little “yeah, I guess I do” expression with that little nod 
3:17 - “Where you going?” - this question isn’t needed here unless it serves a purpose story wise - Dean is angry with Cas, it’s not the first time he would have let Cas walk away or given him the silent treatment that we’ve seen - the only thing Cas said before this is “Well, I don’t think there’s anything left to say”, he did not say he was leaving - Dean asks this almost angrily, like you can hear underneath it “what stupid thing are you going to do next?” (also notice how Dean is positioned on the table here, his one hand holding onto the edge of the table, the other still holding the glass but almost looks like it’s being gripped tightly, his back is straight even though he’s leaning against the table, Dean is the picture of tension here)
3:40 - Dean’s expression after Cas says “I think it’s time for me to move on” - you can see Dean turning those words over in his mind but choosing not to say anything - interesting note here: we start zooming in as he’s processing that - I can’t remember exactly what the reason is cinematically for zooming in shots during a particular moment (I have to find those notes from that class somewhere, it’s been a few years, and when I do I’ll come back and add the edit) but certain techniques are used to help tell the story, i.e. framing, wide shots, etc. This is meant to show that this is a big moment not just for Cas, but for Dean as well. It’s pivotal, whether that be for Dean as a character, the relationship between he and Cas, or for the story in general. (we know it’s all 3 but I’m talking about the shot)
3:46 - Cas has turned around to leave and Dean, looks down, blinking - notice his eyes moving back and forth again, though this time a little slower, and then he suddenly looks up, his brow softening slightly - this is the one, guys - this is where it becomes crystal clear that this isn’t a brobreakup and sure enough, we see Cas ascending the stairs to leave - that expression, that quick glance up, the softening above his eyes -- this is it
3:53 - notice how Dean is looking down at the floor again, how the camera is slowly tracking back/zooming out, notice Dean’s expression here and then we hear the bunker door opening & closing before it cuts to black - this not only affected him stronger than he let on, but this is indeed a breakup (or more specifically, the scene is coded as one) - they didn’t have to keep the bunker door noises in along with Cas’ steps, they could have let the music take over (as it almost did) but they purposely chose to keep them in so the audience can hear not only what is still happening but what the focal point is - this is Cas leaving, possibly for good, and instead of focusing on Cas and how this affects him, instead of having Sam present, they chose to show how this affects Dean - yes they do have a more profound bond, I get it, but this reads romantic in this particular scene - they did this purposely and you can’t miss it, the fracture of Dean and Cas’ relationship was a focal point for this season (at this time, we didn’t know it was also leading us to 15x09, to 15x18) and the eventual healing of it
What have I been saying all along? They moved Destiel to the front burner on that goddamn SPN stove and turned it up to HIGH. To where it becomes overt/textual in such a way that it can’t be ignored or mistaken for subtext. 
And even though we got no answer ever from Dean textually, we still have the story line they’ve been telling for 7 seasons now (and longer I’m sure, but I personally always pick season 8 as the shift I felt in that story line) for both Dean and Cas. So even though we got this:
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They still had the pot on the damn stove, boiling over as evidenced by this scene and the upcoming scenes in the rest of the season.
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lightsandlostbells · 4 years ago
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wtFOCK season 3, episode 1 reaction
So! It’s a million years too late, but I decided to talk about wtFOCK season 3. 
I had fairly positive feelings about S1 of wtFOCK. It was the scrappy underdog of the Skam remakes, in a way, and what it lacked in polish, it made up for authenticity. I was very willing to overlook its flaws because of what I perceived as genuine attempts to connect with teenagers. I was really, really holding out hope that future seasons would improve on its flaws. And ... well. (Disclaimer: I still haven’t seen S2. Sorry! I just failed to keep up with all the remakes and S2 is my least fave so I didn’t feel that motivated to make it a priority, even though I did like Zoë a lot in S1.)
Heads up - I didn’t care for this season. A lot of people did, and I would never, ever want to ruin someone’s enjoyment of something, even if I personally didn’t like it. So please take this as a warning that I have a lot of negative things to say, and don’t read if it’s going to harsh your buzz for a pairing or a story that you deeply love. However, I didn’t want to just be grumpy and angry the whole time, so I tried to think of constructive ways to fix certain problems I had with this season. No guarantees that they’re satisfying solutions, but it was an interesting exercise.
Also, I didn’t watch this in real time, and I paid barely any attention to fandom reactions and/or drama, so it’s very possible that I am missing context, or that pacing issues didn’t register with me quite as strongly, etc. If one of the actors ate a live dolphin on Instagram, and then got into a fight with fans on Twitter about their right to eat live dolphins, and now fandom has canceled the problematic dolphin-eating actor, I legit do not know, do not come at me if I’m like “This actor is doing a good job” with “Wow, didn’t know you stanned dolphin-eaters??? YIKES.” Honestly, for the purposes of just grading this season on a storytelling level, I would prefer not to know anything about the cast or crew unless it directly has an impact on the show itself.
Clip 1 - House party
OK, I did like this flashy intro shot, immersing us in the Wild ‘n’ Crazy Teen Party of Wild ‘n’ Crazy Youths.
Amber rejecting every dude in site … When Will Gay Vilde Rise. (I know there have been some f/f storylines in the remakes, but if there’s one involving an actual Vilde, please let me know.)
Luca saying “We’re not walking around in a high school drama” - you can hear the rimshot.
I do like the transition from the party up to the bathroom, that’s a cool shot. wtFOCK’s directing so far is more ambitious than it was in S1.
Robbe is clearly a mess and they acknowledge his problems at home right off the bat.
We go back downstairs. wtFOCK’s version of Magnus knocks his drink on Amber and she gets pissed. She gives him the finger and he falls in love. Still a better love story than S3 Daphne/Basile.
It’s a small point, but I don’t get why we didn’t get this moment before jumping up to the bathroom with Robbe and the others? It would be a far smoother transition, just on a practical level and also in the sense of fully immersing us in Robbe’s POV after a quick update with the other characters.
Belgian Magnus joins the guys in the bathtub and announces he’s in love. They roast him when they find out it’s Amber and start talking about hot chicks. Moyo starts grilling Robbe about his type of girl, in a crass, sexual way.
This is honestly not a bad start to Robbe’s story at all. Robbe is clearly more reluctant to get into his interest in girls than Isak was - Isak was more fuckboyish from the start, Robbe seems like he’s about to start squirming and doesn’t really give an answer to Moyo’s questioning. Which is fine! I think it’s fine to start off the POV character at different stages of performing heterosexuality, as long as it’s taken into account in the writing of the character’s whole arc. The fact that the boy talk is so crude and sexual just ramps up Robbe’s alienation.
I swear, I will never understand how the girls in this scene just go into the bathroom and pee in front of strange boys … like maybe I am just a ~prude but that seems like a recipe for disaster and I would not trust those little fuckers to not be secretly recording me on the toilet.
Her peeing is kind of a power move, like marking her territory.
Also L M A O at Robbe starting to flirt with the girl while she is pissing … like now this comes off as a kink thing. OK, Robbe. Jokes aside, this gets across the same meaning as the scene with Isak: he starts to flirt with her because he was encouraged by the other guys.
Uh, flush the toilet, lady. And use some TP.
Now this version of Emma seriously radiates some Natalie Portman in The Professional vibes.
She orders him to stand up and then starts kissing him. I get way less of a vibe of Robbe’s mad game with women (like how Isak negged Emma into kissing him) and more like this girl is the love interest out of an indie romcom, all mysterious and spunky. She kisses him like once after taking his jay and then leaves. The boys all crack up. Moyo tells Robbe it’s his responsibility to get the weed back which lmao, no it’s not, all you assholes were there and could have intervened.
This scene is perfectly fine and even effective! Not entirely the same vibes as OG, but it still has a purpose and some obvious cause-and-effect, and there are some nice stylistic choices.
Clip 2 - Party pt. 2
Robbe is now making out with mystery girl. We already have a divergence in characterization from OG. Isak was being performative about making out with Emma and shut it down once the guys left. Robbe is making out with this girl because he wants to be straight, I guess? If it’s not to appeal to his friends, it’s likely that this is for himself. Again, I have no real problem with this change if it’s incorporated into Robbe’s overall arc and characterization. My thing is, if you’re writing this scene, do you realize the differences in characterization? Or do you think this is interchangeable from what happened with Isak? The latter is where you run into problems, because then the writing shows lack of nuance. I bring this up here because, well, you can guess how I feel about later events. 
Luca seems rather aggro about the mystery woman, which I assume is because she still has the hots for Robbe?
It makes me laugh that we got this first-person POV as Robbe leaves through the garage, because of the “Smack My Bitch Up” song being played in the last clip (the song had an infamous music video, banned from MTV in the ‘90s, that was from a first-person POV). But again, WTFock is trying harder with the cinematography and direction, good for them.
Robbe ditches the cops by jumping on the bike with Belgian Emma. OK, I get it, Belgian Emma is too cool for school. 
I have kinda mixed feelings on that, actually. I mean, I’ll be honest - I don’t see why any Emma has to be made into someone more palatable. Definitely don’t demonize her or present her in a misogynistic way! She deserves sympathy and dignity as much as any character on a Skam. But … it’s fine if she and the Isak aren’t like, amazingly compatible except for his sexuality. The Even character is supposed to be the one who really shakes up the Isak’s world! The Isak is supposed to be lost and confused and drifting and then Even comes in and is someone he can really open up to. Not just because he’s another guy who’s into guys, but because Even’s personality meshes with Isak’s so easily while still challenging him and introducing him to new things. In a way, it does kinda diminish the effect of the Even if the Isak meets ANOTHER mysterious stranger who’s an awesome person. Or at the very least, it lessens the feeling of the Isak’s detachment from everything.
And again, this could work if the writing realizes it. You can totally craft a subtly different arc from the pieces of Isak’s season. It’s just that (speaking from the future) I do not feel this is what happened.
Clip 3 - Tagging time
I don’t think it’s necessary to break up all the parts of a longer scene/set piece into a bunch of different clips. If you start a scene at 16:00, it’s OK to have the clip take place over several hours. You don’t need to chop it up unless there’s a reason why this pacing might benefit the story. Honestly, if you’re watching in real time, I think this method is often less effective at building tension/emotion/etc. But wtFOCK is not the first remake to try this tactic.
... this part where Robbe and Noor put on masks sure hits differently in 2020.
Belgian Emma’s name is Noor and she takes him to a warehouse, or something? It’s very secret and Cool Kid. And IDK, it’s fun, but again… I think making the Emma that much of a fun mysterious cool exciting person is very much diminishing the effect of Robbe’s isolation. We had a good start with establishing that alienation while he was in the tub, but now his reactions to her rad hipness feel way too sincere and act against the major character conflict of his season. He seems nervous to go with her, but not because he’s with a girl, just because it’s a risky scenario.
Noor hands Robbe a spray paint can and leads him to tag a wall. There’s  a guy taking pictures. So I’m assuming one of the guys in masks is the Even? The POV seems to shift to the photo guy briefly, like we’re seeing Robbe through his eyes. And even though I’m not a fan of POV breakage, I do think this is a cool way to introduce the Even without really introducing him, you know? If that’s him. (EDIT from the future: Ummm, so that wasn’t Sander, right? I’m rewatching and it doesn’t look like him. Soooo that part has even less relevance than I originally thought. Got it.) (EDIT from the future beyond the future: @hellswolfie tells me that this actually was Sander, so I am just bad at recognizing people, lol.)
Robbe and Noor take off their masks briefly to kiss. Uhhhh, did the scene really just … cut off there? Because L M A O what a weird choice. We don’t get to see what Robbe creates on the wall, which could be a great way to establish his character, AND we end with him on a smiley, contented note which does not boost his POV at all. It legit just makes him seem like a guy who’s into this girl, and sorry, even if that’s his public persona at this point in time … that’s not what we, the audience should be getting at all. 
Clip 4 - Boy squad morning after
Robbe skateboards to meet up with the guy squad. Again, the directing is far better IMO than in S1.
Robbe got the weed back so that conflict is over, I guess.
He gets a call from his mom and stops laughing with the guys and gets serious. He walks away to take the call. Then he starts to open up to Jens about his mom freaking out, and then Moyo spots some girls so they all ditch Robbe to go chase girls, and WOW, Jens, please turn in your Jonas card. 
Don’t love that we didn’t hear his mom on the phone. There’s no reason not to let us hear what she’s saying since it would be in Robbe’s POV AND as it turns out, they just tell us about the situation with his mom right off the bat, anyway, so it’s not like there’s much point in hiding it. 
This was effective in a sense to establish how girl-crazy his friends are, as well as setting up Robbe’s isolation, which I was worried wouldn’t come across as strongly after meeting Noor. But I think they could have NOT mingled in his mom issues to make this part more effective. Like if the goal was to show more of Robbe being alienated because he’s gay, then that’s not entirely successful, because there are non-gay reasons why Robbe wouldn’t join his pals on the girl chase. I mean, even a horny hetero Robbe might not want to chase girls with his bros because talking to his mom is a downer, so it’s not necessarily because of his sexuality. Plus he just found a girl he liked in Noor, so apparently, he’s not on the prowl. What this part IS communicating that the Belgian guy squad doesn’t have much interest in their friend’s family struggles, which ... ehhhh, maybe not great in the grand scheme of the storyline? These guys can be flawed, for sure, but we do need them to care about Robbe’s well-being. And Robbe tried to open up here, so the flaw is not in him, it’s in his friends. I’m going to let it slide because Jens was offering to help Robbe in the first clip, so it’s not like he’s been a totally insensitive friend this whole time. 
Clip 5 - Phone call from Robbe’s dad
Noor jumps on Robbe and they make out. She shows him the garage and they talk about the tagging world or w/e. Again, not sure why they are portraying Noor as like … a legit love interest. I don’t get much of a sense of discomfort from Robbe. Isak was just not into Emma and was uncomfortable when his bathroom flirting came back to haunt him. And I don’t think it’s TERRIBLE not to follow that route, but you can’t just make this huge change if you don’t account for it in future episodes and Robbe’s overall arc. (EDIT from the future: Which I don’t think they do, otherwise I wouldn’t care.) Every scene should count in furthering Robbe’s character, especially this early in the season where we’re just getting to know his particular struggles. If Robbe is trying to convince himself to like girls, then I want to see definite vulnerability in how that’s portrayed.
I blame the directing/writing more than the acting for the lack of discomfort, since I sensed Robbe’s lack of comfort just fine in the bathtub scene.
Makeouts get interrupted when Robbe’s dad calls. Again, not sure why we aren’t hearing both sides of the conversation? Because we’re in Robbe’s POV. Why wouldn’t we hear them? This seems like they just want to create some suspense or mystery over the situation with his parents. But it’s perfectly possible to do so while still letting us in on the phone calls. In fact, it’s arguably more intriguing to let us listen to some phone calls where we get some vague details but nowhere close to the whole story. It’s not like Robbe’s dad is going to explain the whole situation to his son in an exposition dump. We can get some crumbs to tease us, while still keeping us in Robbe’s POV and not feeling like the show is cutting corners.
Robbe gets mad at his dad and tells Noor he needs to be alone. Closeup on Noor as Robbe walks away. OK … why? Why on her and not Robbe when it’s his POV? Why the focus on Noor’s feelings when we really need to be establishing our protagonist’s mindset in the beginning of this season? I’m not saying her feelings don’t matter, I’m saying that well, this isn’t her story. It would be better to see Robbe’s pained reaction as he leaves.
Clip 6 - Robbe’s dad drama
Jens comes running up while Robbe is being sad. Robbe says that it may be necessary for him to stay with Jens because Robbe’s mom has been committed to a mental health institution and Robbe doesn’t want to stay with his dad. Ah, so I guess we’re hearing that right away. Which honestly makes not hearing his phone calls to his parents even funnier - like you lock us out of his POV arguably for the suspense, but then you end the suspense anyway by just telling us what happened a scene or two later? All right. I guess there’s suspense in that we don’t know exactly what’s up with the mom, mental health-wise, or the root of Robbe’s problems with his dad.
It occurs to me that maybe they just didn’t want to hire people to voice Robbe’s parents? Or put in the time to film both sides of the conversation? I have a hard time believing either of those because it’s so lazy, but. 
I mean, just turn the phone conversations into text conversations if you’re not going to let us listen to Robbe’s parents on the other end.
They go and play football without really resolving the situation. Sad music plays while Robbe joins in. Also, someone was calling Robbe, and I assume it was his dad, but it’s not shown.
These clips are VERY short and choppy so far. You could easily combine the last two, so Robbe is with Jens instead of Noor when he gets the other phone call from his dad, leading into this conversation.
We know immediately about Robbe’s mom’s situation instead of it being a mystery, like with Isak. Which, again, isn’t inherently wrong, but then I want them to DO SOMETHING with it. 
Clip 7 - Jens and Jana
Oh hey, Jana got her braces off! IDK if that happened last season or this one, but it was something I liked, seeing a teenage girl with braces on a teen drama. That rarely happens unless it’s a joke or a plot point.
OK, they really need to film Robbe’s phone so I can actually see who’s calling…
Jens tells Jana about Robbe’s parental situation. I’ll note that first she asks if something’s up with Noor, so news of the Robbe/Noor relationship must have traveled really fast since they’ve only just gotten together. Like Robbe and Noor are clearly dating, going off Jana’s comment, and not just hooking up. Then Belgian Magnus wants to know about hooking up with Amber. Meanwhile Robbe is having a conversation off screen with his dad? Guess it wasn’t important!
And that’s the problem, obviously. It’s his POV season, anything you decide to show SHOULD be important to his storyline. 
Also … it’s fine that we’re focusing on Robbe’s shit home life since that’s relevant to his story, but almost nothing in these clips has set up Robbe’s attraction to men, and only slightly his lack of interest in girls, which was negated by him seeming very interested in a girl afterwards. And knowing how long this season takes to get going with the Even character, it’s a pretty glaring omission.
So we don’t see Robbe’s phone call with his dad, but he gets snappy about it when Jens asks. One of the boys (I can’t tell who) says that Robbe’s on his period.  Gonna be real, I don’t care for this squad so far. 
What was the point of this clip? We already know Robbe is having problems with his dad, which is the most relevant part to the plot here. We shouldn’t be wandering from Robbe’s POV so much, but even taking that into account … we already know Belgian Magnus likes Amber, so that’s not necessary to establish. And we didn’t need to see Jens tell Jana something we already know. I assume he tells her so Zoë can find out and offer a room, but there’s no reason to see Jens tell Jana this, so. Filler clip. 
Clip 8 - Zoë and Robbe at the lockers
Yeah, Zoë offers Robbe a place to stay here, but again, we didn’t need to see the news travel down the Jens-Jana pipeline. It could have been condensed more efficiently.
Robbe doesn’t want to because he says his dad wouldn’t approve. Zoë says she hopes things get better with his mom and Robbe at first snaps and tells her to leave it, then says thanks. This is an actual good interaction, writing-wise, kudos.
I liked Zoë a lot in S1 and I like her here again. I really should watch her season despite my Noorhelm allergy. The scene of them kinda smiling at each other across the hallways reminds me that this is probably the strongest relationship in the whole season, tbh.
Why was this clip so short? So many of these clips could have been combined into one. I mean, Zoë could have said, “I heard from Jana who heard from Jens...” without us needing the previous clip. Although, did Robbe really want anyone else to know about his home life? Lol @ Jens just blabbing Robbe’s private business.
So I guess they didn’t set up the Eskild situation in S2 that would lead to Eskild offering Robbe a place to stay? 
Clip 9 - Robbe gets roommates
Robbe is in Zoë’s room. He sees her “everyone you know is fighting a battle” quote next to the mirror, which is a detail I actually quite like in context with the rest of this storyline and Even’s condition. It’s a good Skam thesis overall.
I guess Zoë met with Robbe’s dad. Zoë calls him a tough cookie. Robbe doesn’t want to speak to him. They bond a little over their parental problems. Again, a nice detail.
Belgian Eskild appears and teases Robbe a little before announcing that Robbe’s dad has agreed to let him stay in the flat. Yay!
Oh, so Senne is staying there, too? At least they didn’t do a pointless Noorhelm breakup in this version.
Milan (the Eskild) tries to go in for a hug and Robbe isn’t cool with it, so at least that’s something with Robbe’s issues with men. (I think? The thing is, Robbe also does not really know Milan, so it’s not as weird that he’s not ready to be affectionate with a near-stranger.)  (EDIT from the future: Keeping the S2 almost-kiss that’s referenced in the next clip in mind, I can rationalize this moment as a continuation of that awkwardness from Robbe’s POV.) 
They chat with Lisa (Linn) who wants to direct Robbe on what he is and isn’t allowed to touch in her room, heh.  Milan and Zoë have cute interaction, and Robbe looks happy. I do like the flatmate vibe so far, they seem fun.
Clip 10 - Robbe and Milan
Senne and Zoë get cute. I haven’t seen S2 so I can’t give my opinion on their version of Noorhelm, but I did think a few things about them were less creepy in wtFOCK’s S1 than in OG. Milan talks about how they’re a Disneylike couple and Robbe laughs.
Then Robbe apologizes for something that evidently happened in S2, where Milan tried to kiss Robbe at a party? Again, I didn’t see the scene. Milan says he’d never try to do that. He offers Robbe a hug, which he accepts - tbh I don’t know if Robbe SHOULD accept based on where he is in his character arc, maybe he should have more skittishness? But it’s a nice character moment, at least. They really have to make up for lost time with the Robbe-Milan relationship, so I can get that they need to establish some closeness fast.
Not being in the wtFOCK fandom, I kinda wonder if there was backlash to that scene from before and this is damage control, LMAO.
I feel like you could’ve tweaked this to be more representative of Robbe’s issues, like have him stress here that he’s not gay, because it’s a sweet scene but again, I don’t feel like this episode built up Robbe’s internal dilemma very well. You could make this not just about smoothing over whatever bump there was in this relationship, but also about setting up some internal tension with Robbe’s sexuality issues. Multi-tasking - it’s great!
EDIT from the future: OK, I tracked down the S2 scene, and yeah, while it illustrates some of Robbe’s internalized homophobia, I really think you needed to carry this through to this clip. Because that was a very public situation, and they made a point of emphasizing onlookers’ reactions. I feel like you need to show that Robbe’s internalized homophobia isn’t just about external reactions, but internal struggles, because ... so far, that’s what it is? Like what is he doing with Noor otherwise? 
Clip 11 - Housewarming party
Party is underway. Yasmina is there and is friendly with Robbe. It sounds like they’re working on a school project together. Aaron (Magnus) and Moyo are talking about hot chicks again.
Noor arrives and the boys tease Robbe about how far he’s gone, Robbe looks pretty chill and happy until Moyo says Robbe’s getting laid tonight and you can see the nerves and reluctance take over. Okay! A character detail that actually works for his arc! Yes!
Partying, makeouts with Noor … sorry but they are wasting a lot of time with this relationship. ROBBE ISN’T INTO HER. Here’s the thing: I don’t want to demonize any of Evak’s female “love interests,” right? It’s pointless anyway because Evak is the endgame pairing, Sonja and Emma aren’t “threats” in the end, but also because they’re not bad people just for wanting to date these two guys who happens to want each other instead. And I think you can do interesting things with Sonja and Emma as characters. I’ve read Sonja fanfic that’s really good!
But when it comes down to it … this is not the story of Robbe/Noor, and there’s a point where it feels like there’s too much development for something that is really intended to be a speed bump in Robbe’s journey. 
I guess it’s a pet peeve of mine when gay stories devote a ton of time to het relationships, to the point where it begins to overshadow the main gay relationship. Love, Victor did this to an absolutely ridiculous degree. (I actually made notes for Love, Victor reactions, but hesitated to post them because 60% consisted of me typing I DON’T CARE ABOUT THESE STRAIGHT ROMANCES.) And I GET it, this is an experience many gay kids go through in their coming out journey, but also, less charitably… you don’t need het romance to dominate everything. You don’t need to make this about how a gay person being gay hurts a straight person. I genuinely appreciate that once Isak kisses Even, it’s fucking over with him and Emma, that plot thread is done. 
Anyway, Noor tells Robbe he’s so fucking hot and Robbe looks more uncomfortable, moreso when she wants to see his room and he goes off like he’s headed to Mordor.
Aaron checking out Amber … okay, again with all the het. I don’t care!!! This is not important right now!! 
Noor pushes Robbe onto the bed, ugh please don’t have them Go There.
She takes off her top and Robbe touches her boob like he’s sticking his hand into a porta-potty. We see his discomfort so at least this part is effective and relevant to Robbe’s arc. Noor is taking off her bra when the boys come into the room, wanting the weed. Okay, you dumb fucks, you’re teasing your bro about getting laid and yet you think it’s cool to enter his room when he’s with a girl? I mean, that’s a lucky break for Robbe, but his friends are extra stupid.
The mood is killed, Robbe goes hunting for weed. Episode ends.
HOW I WOULD REWRITE THIS EPISODE:
Lmao, some of my changes sounded a lot like “be like OG Skam S3.” Because Skam S3 was well-written and made sense. But I tried to think of edits that worked with what wtFOCK was presenting, not just repeating OG.
(I’m also repeating a few things in this section that I said above, btw)
While this episode doesn’t make me angry or anything, it’s got a serious problem with dithering. The first clip is a solid start to the season, but afterwards, so many of these clips feel like filler. There’s a lack of substance to them. It was hard to write about them because they ended up feeling like two minutes of nothing. 
Did we need to see repetitive mentions of Robbe’s troubled relationship with his dad? No, it’s an important plot detail but we could have established that more concisely in fewer clips. Did we need to see the process of how Robbe comes to stay with Zoë, Senne, and Milan? No, not really. Or at least not dragged out over at least three clips. 
I don’t feel like I’m in Robbe’s head to the extent that I should be  so far. Some of this is because the show just flat-out locks us out of his POV, like not showing the phone call in the Jens-Jana clip. But a lot of it is also because of the narrative dawdling. There’s just not as much to analyze unless I bring in Skam season 3 and project what we know about Isak onto Robbe. And that’s not a good way to adapt a story.
The framing of Robbe/Noor needs to change. Combine the bathroom intro with the aborted sex scene - the boys are sitting in the tub, teasing Robbe about getting laid, so he makes out with Noor and they go into a bedroom where he’s clearly not into this, and then Moyo and Aaron come in asking for weed because Robbe still actually has the weed from the bathtub at this point. Or do what Skam France did (can’t believe I’m referring to Skam France) and have the arrival of the cops interrupt the makeout/sex session and Robbe takes his cue to exit.
But frankly, it’s not great to have Robbe acting or looking too cozy with Noor, like this is a legitimate romantic arc except when it gets to the sex. The point is that this isn’t a romance. Even if you want to show some cuddly, non-sexual scenes with Noor, you have to show more of Robbe’s reluctance and fear throughout. 
Show Robbe’s fucking phone conversations with his parents!!!! Good Lord. He’s not ordering a pizza. These are important aspects of his story. Capitalize on that family tension, show us what a bad place Robbe is in at the start of this season. 
Now, about the lack of Even in this episode. Not introducing Even is a bold move, but not necessarily a smart one. Even’s introduction in Skam is not just the intro of “the love interest” - he’s the catalyst for almost everything in Isak’s story. Consider that in episode 1, Isak is seen mostly unhappy and bored - he’s distraught after kissing Emma, he’s checked out of his friends’ lunchtime girl talk, he zones out staring at his teacher’s boobs, he doesn’t want to be at kosegruppa. Isak is actually very passive and just going through the motions, doing what people tell him to do. But once Isak meets Even at kosegruppa - well, that’s when Isak wakes up. In the next few clips, we see Isak taking action. And sure, they’re small actions, searching for Even online, watching the Even video over and over, asking Vilde if there will be more kosegruppa meetings. But we can see that Isak now cares about something, he’s paying attention. Of course, Robbe’s story doesn’t have to follow the same arc. However, it does the season a huge benefit to get him intrigued by something at this point, so we the audience are not just sleepwalking along with him for a few episodes.
There’s also just the simple fact that we have only 10 episodes to establish a love story and make us care about the Even character, and it’s a very risky move to waste too much time. If you are really killing it with the rest of Robbe’s arc, this could still work, but ... well, that’s not what’s happening here.
If they didn’t want to full on introduce the Even directly, one thing they could do is subtly and indirectly find ways to include him in the narrative and create some mystery. Let’s say Robbe sees the Even’s artwork somewhere and is like whoa, that’s cool, and we can tell that it resonates with him. Or he admires Even’s graffiti, or it makes him laugh, whatever. Basically Robbe has some kind of emotional reaction to a thing the Even has created or done, which helps to set up that relationship even before we officially meet the Even.
If we want to add a little more, perhaps Robbe sees a mysterious dude in a mask tagging a wall, but they get interrupted by the cops or something and have some kind of brief but intriguing interaction with each other, and Robbe’s like, who was that guy in the mask? Or Noor takes Robbe to the tagging place, the police/security bust them, Robbe and Noor get separated, and Robbe gets helped out by the Even so he can escape. So it’s an important moment, lots of adrenaline, we can frame it like there’s a sudden ~charge~ between them (ooOOOooo the Even helped Robbe stand up and their hands touched like this was a fanfic, etc.), but he doesn’t learn Even’s name, maybe he doesn’t even see his face because Even has a mask on, so Robbe spends part of the next few episodes trying to figure out who that guy is, casually asking Noor if she knows a guy like that, keeping his eyes open. Maybe we have some fakeouts where Robbe thinks he sees the Even again but it’s just a false alarm. He’s on edge, eager to know more about that mystery guy, and so are we. Bam, we have “awakened” Robbe from his deep sleep. 
If you’ve seen Netflix’s The Get Down, there’s even a scene like this where Jaden Smith’s character gets caught tagging by the cops, he runs and flees with another young dude, and they have a moment where they recognize each other as graffiti artists they admire. While watching that scene for the first time, without any context or spoilers, without even knowing if there would be LGBT content in that show, I immediately thought, “This guy is his love interest.” Not even because it was overtly romantic. Because the way it was written and shot told us that this meeting was important. Because they had an instant connection. Something similar could have worked for Robbe and his Even. But in any case: it would have been best to establish something between those characters, even if it wasn’t an “official” introduction.
Stop focusing on Aaron/Amber when it’s not in Robbe’s POV. Reverse the scene at the beginning with Aaron videotaping and Amber getting spilled on. She gets pissed, he falls in love, and then we follow him upstairs and we meet the boy squad. That is a very obvious, very clean transition that doesn’t interrupt Robbe’s POV as it technically hasn’t started yet. So IDK why they didn’t do that, lmao.
Some changes with the Milan relationship:
Tweak the apology scene to be more representative of Robbe’s issues. Have Robbe apologize while still stressing that he’s not gay. Have Milan be chill and not question that statement, but maybe Robbe is so defensive that it comes across as unconvincing. 
Then have Milan be the one instead of the boys to interrupt the Noor almost-sex scene. Milan wanders in acting drunk, haha Milan, he’s wacky. Robbe doesn’t realize it (though the viewers do if they’re paying attention) but Milan is only pretending and is “subtly” rescuing Robbe because he realizes, based on the earlier scene, that Robbe might be struggling with his sexuality and he wants to give him an escape option. (Although I still think it’s best to combine the not-sex scene into the opening clip, but this could work, too.)
Basic questions we need to be asking, clip to clip: what is the conflict? Where is Robbe’s head right now? Why is this scene necessary? How did this scene come to be - what’s the cause and effect here? How does it advance Robbe’s story? Is it redundant? How do we tell this story in a narratively economical manner? 
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bananaofswifts · 4 years ago
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Never be so polite you forget your power,” sings Taylor Swift at one point on evermore, her second surprise album release in less than six months. Shortly afterward, she follows that statement up with “Never wield such power you forget to be polite.” It’s a line Swift has been trying to walk in recent years, both professionally and creatively, and it’s not a bad summary of the glorious new album, which offers bold and striking new sounds while still coming across as a generous pandemic offering to her ride-or-die fans at a time when they may need her more than ever.
Swift also leans even harder into the new kind of storytelling that she explored on folklore, which was released just as suddenly in July to thunderous acclaim, became the biggest-selling album of the year, and is currently in the running for Album of the Year at the Grammy Awards. Reaching back to her country roots in strategy if not in execution, she’s spinning narratives that, for the first time, reach outside of her own experience, sometimes examined from multiple perspectives. As evermore tackles big city disappointments and small-town dreams, crime, and (as always) heartbreak, we witness her songwriting becoming mature, even literary.
Quick tip: Do not play poker with Taylor Swift. She had plenty of chances to tease this new project in recent weeks—from the headfake she delivered when she accepted the American Music Award for Artist of the Year and noted that she was taping her acceptance speech in the studio where she’s currently re-recording her old albums (seeking vengeance for the second sale of those albums’ master recordings) to the lengthy Q&A in Entertainment Weekly that came out earlier this week but made no mention of new music. Yet first thing Thursday morning, she revealed in a post that her ninth studio album would come out less than 18 hours later, two days before her 31st birthday (“Ever since I was 13, I’ve been excited about turning 31 because it’s my lucky number backwards,” she wrote).
Swift indicated that evermore is intended as a “sister record” to folklore, but while this album is clearly an extension of the shimmery indie-rock/singer-songwriter direction unveiled on the previous record, it’s definitely not just leftovers from those sessions; it stands on its own as yet another triumph in a remarkable career. If it’s less consistent than folklore, it’s also looser, experimental, both softer and louder, chilly and warm—ever more.
The intimate, classic-yet-modern sound of folklore (recorded in secret and untroubled by the necessities of touring and promotion and avoiding Swift’s usual glossy and bright production) drew much of the attention, but there were clear precedents to that approach in songs of hers like “Clean,” “New Year’s Day,” and “The Archer.” More radical was her shift away from using her songs as diary entries to writing stories and sketches in the voice of characters, both fictional and real.
Swift mostly left it to listeners to connect the dots in the love triangle that ran through multiple songs on folklore. This time, though, she spelled out her intentions explicitly in a flurry of social media activity (even taking fan questions in the chat window during the YouTube premiere of the video for the opening track, “Willow”). She noted how the evermore songs “mirrored or intersect[ed] with one another,” pointing out the “two young con artists who fall in love,” “the girl who left her small town to chase down Hollywood dreams—and what happens when she comes back,” and “the ‘unhappily ever after’ anthology of marriages gone bad that includes infidelity, ambivalent toleration, and even murder.”
The strongest of these songs stand with her best work. “Tolerate It” is a devastating depiction of a love gone—not exactly cold, but harrowingly lukewarm. “’Tis the Damn Season” is the aforementioned tale of the celebrity returning home for the holidays, and you can’t help wonder if this one is a situation that hits close to her own heart. The twangy “No Body, No Crime” not only features her friends (and former opening act) Haim, it names the central character Este (how meta!) as it recalls the gleeful revenge of the Chicks’ “Goodbye Earl” and the swagger of Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats.”
Aaron Dessner of The National was the primary producer of folklore, but Swift’s longtime collaborator Jack Antonoff handled six of that album’s songs; here, it’s truly Dessner at the helm, credited with all but one of the fifteen songs on the standard edition of the album. Moving away from Antonoff’s pop chops (he picked up the remaining track, the pulsing “Gold Rush”) makes the pleasures come more from sonic details and nuances rather than big hooks.
The songs are less linear structurally and texturally, and the credits are littered with instruments like glockenspiel, modular synth, pocket piano, and chord stick. A glitchy rhythm track powers “Long Story Short,” while the clangy “Closure” is damn near industrial. Dessner’s band is officially credited on one song, but its members appear throughout evermore; Bon Iver returns after folklore’s aching duet “Exile,” this time playing and singing on multiple songs, and Marcus Mumford turns up on the finely-etched grifter’s tale “Cowboy Like Me.” (William Bowery, who Swift outed as her boyfriend, Joe Alwyn, on the Disney+ special Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions, gets three co-writing credits here, and even contributes the piano part on the closing title track.)
Not all of the stretches work: “Coney Island,” the duet with the National’s Matt Berninger, strains for “poetic” imagery, with the awkward refrain “Sorry for not making you my centerfold,” while the pairing with Bon Iver on “Evermore” doesn’t recapture the chemistry they found the last time. But damn, the girl can still write a punch line. “I come back harder than a ‘90s trend,” she sings on “Willow,” while on “Closure,” she drops a perfect post-breakup snapshot— “Don’t treat me like some situation that needs to be handled/I’m fine with my spite, and my tears and my beers and my candles.” Swift even seems to nod to the debacle of the Cats movie in the title track, acknowledging that “motion capture put me in a bad light.”
“I have no idea what will come next,” wrote Swift in one of her posts during the brief countdown to the release of evermore. “I have no idea about a lot of things these days.” But there’s little uncertainly in this confident, daring record—a surprising yet natural next step in Swift’s evolution—which feels like it will continue to reveal itself over repeated listens. In the chilling “Happiness,” she sings, “I haven’t met the new me yet,” meaning both her own replacement in a broken relationship and the person who will rise from those ashes. I can’t guess which Taylor Swift we will get next, but I can’t wait to meet her.
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honmakurara · 4 years ago
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Kyuso wa cheese no yume wo miru: extensive manga review
Tormented and explicit, sharp and sophisticated: what Mizushiro Setona's masterpiece really is.
Warning: minor spoilers ahead. "I want to read something erotic and violent": this is what Mizushiro Setona's editor asked her, echoing the request of their chief editor when assigning to the mangaka a story for the supplement of the Josei magazine Judy, meant to be read by an adult female target: "I don't expect you to write a nice story. You have other skills you can count on. You can narrate about gay people, for instance, or about sadomasochism."
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Starting from the first casual incursion of Mizushiro-sensei into the world of Boys' Love, between the years 2004 and 2006 Kyūso wa Cheese no Yume o Miru (窮鼠はチーズの夢を�� - The cornered mouse dreams of cheese) was born and defined; it is one of the most beautiful and intense stories ever written about such a genre and beyond, which did even receive excellent notes from the well acclaimed Takemiya Keiko-sensei of the renowned Group 24. Starting with these premises, one can already understand how Mizushiro-sensei, who was not a master of Boys' Love back then, has nonetheless been able to offer an excellent tale that transcends the borders of genres and ranges over way beyond what it had been asked her: the story had been initially conceived as a few chapters later compiled in one tankobon, but it eventually came back on the pages of Judy with a new series of chapters. These ones have also been later published, three years later, in a sequel tankobon titled Sōjo no Koi wa Nido Haneru (俎上の鯉は二度跳ねる - The carp on the chopping block jumps twice). After the renewed interest offered to Otomo and to the cunning Imagase's story, that the live action movie announcement awakened, the new manga chapter Hummingbird Rhapsody has been added to the whole franchise, which is included in the recently revised Japanese edition of the manga.
"Imagase... I'm scared of you...!"
"And I'm... scared of you, too."   There's however not only violence and eroticism in this intricate story, and such a definition would actually mean to simplify way too much what it portrays, not to mention it would not fit exactly what the author was actually able to convey into it; other than the most obvious themes and elements, many others way more implicit and elaborate ones can be found there. We can even have a hint of that by peeking at the cover illustration of the volume, where a languid surface does not betray the contradiction of the soul. We can see an elegant portrait of the two main characters, who both hide all but dignified emotions inside them; a very accurate mirror of such a picture, which graphically reminds us of the previous editions of the manga, is the mind of the thirty years old Otomo Kyoichi after his encounter with Imagase. Otomo is a married adult man, leading an apparently impeccable life: he has good looks, polite manners and a nice job. He is gentle and esteemed by his colleagues and is able to make the many women crossing his path sigh from expectation. He cannot resist women either, that is why his life is an endless sequence of cheating on his wife. He reckons they are of no importance, at least until his wife hires the private eye Imagase Wataru to investigate upon his possible infidelities. Imagase is no new man in Otomos' life, being a kohai within the tennis club at university: he proposes to Otomo to be silent with his wife, in exchange for the heated make-out session that he never dared asking before, despite his being a unprejudiced homosexual guy having a crush on Otomo since forever. After the end of Otomo's wedding, though, the intimate encounters between the two men do not stop at all; they are pushed towards a fierce depth instead, symbols of a spiral of lust and psychological turmoil from which Otomo cannot willingly go back any more. "I am no good one."
"I know this. Bad natured men like you are the worst. Do you think that everyone is looking for that perfect person? You can't fall in love with anyone but that one person?"
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"Someday, you'll find true love, too. The time will come when you can't help the feelings that well up inside you and you'll be carried away."
The themes and the premises are taken from various undoubtedly not new Boys' Love clichés; Mizushiro-sensei makes skillfully use of them to plumb the human soul as she does in many other works of her, making the story evolve quickly into something way different and way wider than what the numerous and explicit sex scenes might make us think at first. It takes a doting and obsessive homosexual guy into the life of some apparently happy man like Otomo in order to make the latter understand that his marriage is merely an empty shell, built with no true nor deep feelings to live an ordinary life. The encounter with Imagase, though, forces Otomo to think back deeply about his own actions and the meaning to give to his own life, until he gets to understand that despite his true gentleness, he has never cared for other people's feelings at all.
The relationship with Imagase makes his worst side come to the surface: jealous impulses, selfishness and possessiveness, unsuspected masochistic and yet dominating preferences, obscure compulsions and a never missing inclination towards all sorts of temptations. Otomo is no role model nor someone to praise and yet, he's neither a man whose submissive personality can be easily blamed. Such a personality is a spectrum of a lid hiding a lot of things, a reflection of our own fearful and insecure behaviour, our own incapability of getting to call ourselves into question until the moments, those surprising and unexpected moments, that are to change life for real. That these two lovers embody a strong universal value is further suggested by the choice of the Japanese kanjis with which their names are written: Mizushiro-sensei identifies Otomo Kyoichi (大伴恭一) with the definition of 'partner' itself, a potential alter ego of each of us; she entrusts Imagase Wataru (今ヶ瀬渉, from the kanjis of 'quickness', 'crossing', 'involvement' and 'human relations') with the importance of getting to catch the 'carpe diem', the fleeting moment. Should we were to play with the language a little bit, we would find out that the union of the two main characters would lead us to the meaning of a 'relationship with a partner', the play of the cat with its little mouse happening here and now, the moment that we are to live in every single instant.
"You're kidding?! I cannot believe it… You can't decide?! Between a woman... or a man?!” - Natsuki -
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"Maybe Imagase is right... maybe I still have to know what true love it. Next month, I’ll turn 30."
Otomo meets a long series of women, each of whom is identified by a definite face and a marked, strong personality. Each of them leaves a vivid notch into Otomo's life; and yet, no one of these figures is able to open a gash into his soul. The true Otomo is unfathomable to anyone, himself included, just like he himself can finally understand after the new encounter with Imagase breaks the quiet surface of his existence. The desirable man that Otomo is in his colleagues' eyes, through Imagase's cynical and revealing gaze he proves to be none other than a failed seducer, a man devoid of lash and decisiveness, a figure suddenly insecure even about what the true and intense physical pleasure is and how to gain it. It is Imagase who makes the miracle, intercepting his senpai's emotional black hole, and the latter finally manages to find out where the borders of his own self lay and how to humbly face his own limitations and inner being. This does not happen thanks to a man, nor thanks to a good guy, but rather because of a tempting snake who exploits Otomo's weaknesses with a cheeky and direct attitude towards him; by acting like so, Imagase takes a vengeance towards his own young self, first of all, the one who had been unable to face with sincerity the object of his adoration, back then. "No matter how sweet he might be, he is war away, like the moon."
His impetuous whims and his sensual attentions take the lid off Otomo's soul in the deep and they produce the most unexpected of effects, by reversing the parts of this play: Otomo, the one who never even thought he would were to find himself one day on the verge of turning 30 years old by asking himself about the true nature of love, becomes fond of the weird daily life established with Imagase, and he adapts himself to such cohabitation with surprising rapidity. He becomes more and more aware of a homosexual relationship in which he, however not knowing how to move, goes on with the cautiousness, the tenderness and the care he had never reserved to any other person before, in his whole life. He even gets to question himself what it is that truly determines the happiness of a couple, both in the short and medium-long term. As for Imagase, he teaches his senpai how to increase the physical pleasure in a more and more intense way, making him find out what offering someone unconditional love means. Someone who is clearly an imperfect one in all his weaknesses, but at the same time someone who is loved for the one he is, and not just because he embodies the ideal of an unattainable perfect man.
As the relationship with Otomo evolves, though, it is Imagase slowly losing the control he had on the whole situation, as he lavishes his spasmodic need for affection -also made up of a sometimes exasperating and childish attitude-  on a story born out of a youthful crush later evolved in true and heartbreaking love, against every possible prevision.  
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"I'm just eating away your current existence. I can't make you happy."
"I'll decide whether or not I'm happy. We're both so selfish."
That is why within the play of the cunning black cat with his naive mouse, it is no obvious at all who the real prey or the predator are; quite on the contrary, the roles are repeatedly overturned, both on a psychological and on a sexual level, in a turn-up which is mostly unprecedented as for what Boys' Love works are concerned: as the pages become more daring, there's a parallel growth of the sexual purse power that each of these main characters can use towards one another. A strong and undermining power. Playing tag, letting go, keeping on running after each other once again: all of those are demonstration of a love both childish and adult-like in its elements, a overwhelming love taken to the limit of the obsession, a deep affection that while looking straight into reality, forces both men to ask themselves how much they are willing to leave back of their own selfishness in exchange for an improper relationship, and yet a fulfilling and indispensable one. That is why it is equally truly fitting, the choice of borrowing the name of animals for the titles of the chapters, and these very same animals appears as 'guest-stars' inside the story itself: from a frame hanging at a restaurant to a lighter herald of jealousies, there is no similarity more proper than fish, cats, snakes, owls and butterflies to suggest us behaviours that are to recall the most primeval and animal-like instincts of the human beings. Weaving traps and spider webs: those mean, sleazy and petty acts that people also do when they're in love. "The obstacle is you. And so am I." The frame of this symbolism closes with a gaze looking up at the cover illustration, where the portraits of animals silently stand out in the background behind the main characters. At the same time, such a gaze looks suggestively up at the moon: the Romeo and Juliet described by Shakespeare invoked the moon for an eternal oath, while the Japanese writer Natsume Soseki in his famous 'Tsuki ga kirei, desu ne?' (the moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?) metaphorically used the moon for a declaration of love. Mizushiro-sensei entrusts the white satellite with Otomo and Imagase's most unspeakable thoughts, for which the moon so becomes a silent leitmotif, as if it was a sensual tokonoma opening inside the story for all those people who can see beyond it: a sort of a story in the story, like a delicate, deep, subtle and intimate alcove. It goes beyond saying that every single dialogue of Kyuso wa cheese no yume wo miru manga is either enigmatic and cheeky and equally provoking and misleading: what we do reckon we understand about Otomo and Imagase, through their own words, gets later regularly denied by other facts. With thick lines and dialogues that are to tell us the very contrary of what they actually intend to convey, we cannot help but rely then on the inner voices of the many Otomos in his mind, in order to understand the nude truth: the white Otomo, the black and the grey one can maybe remind us of the concept behind the Pixar movie Inside Out, but Kyuso's one is by far forerunner of the latter. Mizushiro-sensei will make excellent use of such theme again by exploring it fully, and not without a subtle humour, in her following Nōnai Poison Berry manga; at the same time, the intricate juxtaposition of human beings and animals comes back to life in the well appreciated Shoujo manga Afterschool Nightmare, while the ultimate aim to attribute to ourselves and to love becomes the core of the romantic comedy Shitsuren Chocolatier, winner of the 36th Kodansha Manga Award - Shojo/Josei and also nominated for the Tezuka Award in 2014. Other than a fully substantial work per se, Kyuso wa cheese no yume wo miru can be also seen as a sort of effective experimental testing ground for the mangaka herself and her various best works.
"You think that's acceptable?!"
"Acceptable to whom?"
"To society!"
"You're overly self-conscious, as usual... society doesn't care about your sex life."
Mizushiro-sensei's style distinguishes itself for a modern and state-of-the-art graphic, an elegant and refined one, and Kyuso makes no exception: the peculiar design, so clean without any trace of deburring, gets softened as time and years passing by, as we can see by comparing the drawings made for the first chapters of the story with those from the Melancholy Butterfly onwards, and until the recent Hummingbird Rhapsody. Here the lines are so delicate and thin that they almost suggest us they could literally flake off under the piercing gaze of the reader. By leafing through the tankobon, all we can see are tidy pages, sometimes with no balloons at all, thus resulting in a huge expressive performance. The design is sharp and essential as for what details are concerned, but it is no minimalistic one; it is accurate in the depiction of bodies in every detail and characterized by a certain subtle sensuality, this latter marking not only the most rated scenes but also able to permeate the whole work instead. As used as she is in narrating with extraordinary ability about twisted and askew themes and exploring the human psyche with related sexual and gender identity issues, Mizushiro Setona offers us pages with highly aesthetic value, thrilling and bold ones, not without a sort of a certain aesthete voyeurism when depicting lovemaking scenes, however never vulgar at all. They manage to effectively evoke with a surprising visual impact, instead, the devastating passions from which both the characters and the readers end up being shaken and overwhelmed from. The violence this manga is impregnated with is mostly about its psychological insight, rather than the physical one, sex being however undoubtedly an inescapable element of the complicated events binding Otomo to Imagase: it is a key of the story but no ultimate reason of it. That is why we cannot help but follow, almost in a state of trance, how this couple is eventually able to get to intimately know each other by starting from a kiss born out of a blackmail, and thenquickly slackening every inhibition under the sheets through reversal of positions, seme/uke roles and sadomasochistic implications.
"Do you love me? Or after you got a taste of being loved so passionately are you pretending to be my lover as compensation for my feelings?"
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How such a sentimental-psychological tangle can be outlined into a story constantly in balance between drama and comedy, keeping a perfect balance between each of its many faces always, without ever falling nor losing a thing, the reader can find it one page after another, surprising himself together with Otomo and Imagase in a thick and tormented love story, terribly authentic as much as its complicated and complex characters are. The pressing storyboard does now allow any rest nor break nor peace: accusations and skirmishes rebound from one man to the other in a never-ending evolution and involution of the personalities of the characters, that is until the unsettling ending; when the time of the games finishes and infantilism stops, another moment inevitably comes. The moment when the face of the adult we want to show to other people outside, goes finally and fully matching the inner essence of us as human beings. That very moment when one can take responsibility towards its own self.
"Poking holes in happiness makes you unhappy.
Nobody understands what I'm going through.
No one knows about the happiness I got to feel despite navigating into an ocean of doubts."
Otomo' sexism, while appreciating what Imagase offers him despite never intimately accepting it’s a man providing him with such a pleasure, vanishes in the very moment he gives his lover a vintage Château Pétrus bottle: it is one of the finest French wines in the whole world, thus suggesting his precious man the implicit idea of being an equally unique and irreplaceable one. Carrying on with a relationship where people can look at each other's eye and discuss, offering our whole self not in order to give back something we received but rather to go beyond our own self, it is then something quite different from seeking the pleasure of a night without any involvement: it is not the same indecisive man he was before, the one for whom appearances in society stops being an excuse, the man suddenly questioning himself how it might be wooing a man rather than a woman, or whether the relationship between two homosexual guys might even be more complete and deep than the one a heterosexual man might start with someone belonging to a ‘different’ universe from his own one.
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What is love, then, if not the innate strength that allows us to see beyond our stiff self-esteem and pride, in order to overcome our limitations and arrive and reach the most intimate recesses of the one soul we naturally tend? And it is not only the Boys' Love theme per se to be central in this story, quite rather something that transcends every gender limitation to virtually embrace every kind of love, regardless of any possible colour or legitimacy. And that is because a different way of loving is no inadequate love nor a "less" love. However merely brushing LGBTQ+ themes, however never aspiring to become a gender manifesto, the Kyuso wa cheese no yume wo miru manga is able to outline some of these aspects with great perspicacity; there's then the excellent portrait offered to the weaknesses of the human being, slave of a need for affection as much hidden as obscure and here translated into the relentlessness of a physical and lacerating love. It does confirm to us how much the social and psychological themes are here treated with crude realism and keen sensibility. In a perfect synthesis of the Yin and Yang elements, Otomo and Imagase's greedy, mean and liar characters are flecked in a sometimes merciless way, not to mention the moment they mean to hurt other people but end up cleaving their own self instead first: it is a couple of uncomfortable characters the one we have here, someone with whom it is definitely not a pleasure to identify ourselves with, someone we wish never to meet, if any. Someone that nonetheless chooses never to give up when in front of human frailty, and that is why these characters end up being unusually authentic, charming and unforgettable ones. " I was hoping, someday, that by sharing my way of loving with you, you would have done the same to me one day." - Imagase -
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 "Ugh... I don't lose my temper like this with women." - Otomo -
The new revised All in One Edition reunites the two original volumes into one, which comes with a few color pages in the introduction and the brand new extra Hummingbird Rhapsody chapter. As for what the censorship is concerned, the original pages have actually been partially edited in a very few graphic details: it has been Mizushiro-sensei herself to provide them at the request of the Japanese publisher for the revised edition, which is meant to remove every explicit content starting from 28th January 2020. That happens in order to make the manga available also to a younger target, as the live action movie received a R15+ rating. Censorship involves however only the depiction of male genitals in a few specific, small and delimited portions of the pages, mainly in the first chapters of the story, and does not apply anywhere else. Female nipples and breasts, naked bodies and rated love making are left totally untouched, and so are the original dialogues, the true quintessence of this manga. Even the revised edition presents the harsh and explicit tones of the original pages and there is none of the messages conveyed by the manga that has been damaged or watered down by the re-print. "Love is divine punishment."
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Carrying a perfect balance between seduction and feelings, the Kyuso wa cheese no yume wo miru manga is a challenging, demanding and intense reading. It is a mature story filled with issues, a complex and provoking one; it is compulsory to get near this story with the utmost attention, receiving though a crescendo of emotions that the reader will feel entangled with until the very last page. The Italian poet Giacomo Leopardi would have probably defined it a "matto e disperatissimo" love, a 'mad and utterly desperate' one. Like a river in flood sweeping everything away, the need for getting to know how to slacken control of ourselves and how to gain it back: educating the passion in a relationship is complicated to the point of seeming almost unmanageable.
Love in daily life is quite a different issue from the feelings of a romance novel, an engagement that forces people to swallow bitter bites sometimes, an endless tension towards the other and towards ourselves. In this story that happens to painfully disturbs the deepest part of the heart, we do not know who is the one leading the game; both characters here overthrow the typical Boys' Love canons, an audacious, cocky and authentic couple ready to question itself always.
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A story that cannot be missed for all the lovers of the Boys' Love genre, Kyuso wa cheese no yume wo miru is also quite appropriate for all those one searching for an atypical love story, a strong and nonetheless sensual one, sublimated by a masterful introspection and a very welcome hint of subtle and stinging humour. It is a work dealing with many interesting and complicated issues, though never boasting about none of its many qualities.
A story that knows no limitation and no borders. One of those volumes to keep on the shelf of our own personal bookcase with the utmost care, to take up every now and then in our hands and find new shades of meaning after every new re-reading.
**
Originally written and posted in Italian @ Animeclick
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auncyen · 4 years ago
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ok.  I’m posting the beginning I have for the next chapter of “When The Cat Dragged In The Trickster” as basically a way to tell myself STOP EDITING IT AND MOVE ON.  But also just because I always found one of the school rumors about Ren interesting and potentially messy if he were joining the group later on so I wanted to share that bit.
***
Morgana and Amamiya fought on their own first, the two of them, since the shadows in Aiyatsbus weren't too difficult and Makoto wanted to see how they fought together.  Ann felt weird just being a spectator, but at least it gave her some time to process the fact that Amamiya's choice of weapon was a knife, which unfortunately brought to mind one of the many rumors floating around school about him.  She'd always assumed before that the rumor about him carrying a knife had been invented by someone who wanted to gossip about the 'transfer criminal'.  There wasn't any sort of weapon mentioned in the court records, after all.  But here was Amamiya, using a knife just like Makoto used her well-practiced aikido and Haru used an ax because she loved chopping firewood.
He had to fight Shadows somehow, though.  If his choice of weapon had been anything else, it would have meant just as much as her whip or Yusuke's katana or Ryuji's rod: not much at all.  If he happened to have... some kind of previous experience using knives, then it was okay because he was a good guy now!  That experience would only help them.
She bit her lip.  That sort of logic didn't really make her much feel better, since it begged the question of what he might have done with a knife to get other people talking.
Ryuji gave her a side-glance, then leaned in.  "You thinkin' 'bout that knife rumor too?"
Makoto was close enough to overhear (which wasn't too close, but it was Ryuji talking) and shot both of them one of her sharp looks, always a little scarier when she was wearing that steel mask.  But then she sighed.  "Why couldn't it have been nunchucks?"
Ryuji cracked up laughing.  "Nunchucks?"
"Anything besides knives," Makoto clarified.
Ryuji still kept laughing, and Ann couldn't help a giggle herself at the mental image of Amamiya wielding nunchucks in his trenchcoat.  The look would make no sense in terms of style.  But then Amamiya's head turned their way, and she nudged her friend with her elbow.  "You're--we're distracting Phantom."
"Oh come on.  He wouldn't get distracted if the guys on this floor were a real threat," Ryuji retorted, but he did quiet down as Morgana called out to Amamiya, prompting the dark-haired teen to aim his pistol and shoot down the last succubus they'd been fighting.
"Good job, guys!" Ann called, and polite clapping started from behind.  Haru was applauding.  After a few seconds, Ryuji let out a whoop.  Amamiya looked over to them, but didn't say anything.  If he was making any expression, it was small enough to be hidden by his domino mask.  Then he turned away and crouched to help Morgana with his favorite part of a battle--scooping up the yen shadows often dropped when they fled in defeat.
"Mona has fought the enemies on this floor dozens of times," Yusuke pointed out to Haru.
"Yes, but Phantom's new!  We should encourage him."
"He's acting like it's no big deal too," Ryuji groused.  "So, Queen?  What's your verdict?"
Makoto was still frowning.  "Phantom's movements were rather...hesitant in this fight, even though he's already had some training with Mona.  He fights competently enough that with Morgana's experience, they kept the upper hand, but given what he said earlier, he's likely feeling nervous.  We need to be mindful.  The nerves are most likely because he's still new to fighting Shadows, but it's not going to help if he overhears rumors being discussed."  She paused, glancing over at Amamiya again to make sure he wasn't paying attention.  "And in regards to that particular rumor, knives are a common weapon.  There have been enough ridiculous rumors about him that one seeming to have a grain of truth could be pure coincidence."
Ann nodded.  That logic made sense, and she wanted to believe it, but....  "Queen, you're giving this a lot of thought yourself, aren't you?"
Makoto grimaced.  "I really wish he used anything else."
"Let us take on some more fights!" Morgana exclaimed as he bounded over, Amamiya trailing behind him.  "Until the first rest area.  We're just getting warmed up."
"Phantom?" Ann asked.
Amamiya nodded.  "We can handle it.  No sweat."
Ann wondered if he wasn't posturing, but the next few battles backed up his words.  The hesitation of the first battle melted away as Amamiya moved more fluidly, and he and Morgana seemed to have good coordination: faced with one of the cavalrymen Ann loathed (not only had they sucked up to Kamoshida so much in his castle, they were strong against her fire), Amamiya drew the shadow's attention to him by making the first attack and then did his best to dodge the retaliating sword, retreating in one direction while delivering taunts with a smirk, until Morgana had slipped around to the shadow's back--at which point Zorro knocked the armored knight clear off its horse.  Amamiya and Morgana closed in on the fallen knight for a hold up.
"That's not a lucky punch anymore," Makoto commented.  "That's a rabbit punch."
"Rabbit feet are lucky?" Ann offered, trying to give her friend a light-hearted smile.  She was a little distracted; Amamiya had dodged most of the swings of the knight's sword, but one had connected, tearing open his trenchcoat sleeve and letting blood drip from his upper arm onto the ground of Mementos.  It probably wasn't too bad when Amamiya could keep his pistol trained on the shadow, but it needed to be taken care of sooner rather than later.
"It's not called a rabbit punch after the feet..."  Though the brunette seemed to think better of explaining the term, instead watching as Amamiya demanded more yen from the shadow, looking over the offerings before tilting his head to indicate the shadow was now free to go.  As soon as the area was clear, Morgana bounded over to heal him.  Good.
A lot of shadows in Aiyatsbus had weak spots easy to pierce with bullets to bring them down, and the gross slimes were weak to Morgana's wind spells--the duo managed to gain the upper hand quickly in most of their fights, only the cavalrymen giving them anything close to trouble.  And Amamiya was an aggressive negotiator.  He was getting a lot of yen for them still being on the upper levels of Aiyatsbus.  At the first rest area, Morgana cupped both paws around a can of arginade and sipped carefully while Amamiya slouched against the outside of the small train station shelter.
***
This is a short section, and I really shouldn’t have been as stuck on it as I have been.  I basically wrote one version of this with the mention of the rumor (and kept playing with the idea of Ren catching them talking about it), then wondered if I was making the PT too gossipy by focusing on it, then wrote a ‘positive’ version where there was no gossip and they were focusing on making him feel welcome, and...at this point I’m kind of like nah it’s ok for them to get tripped up about rumors, they’re not perfect, and they can still be trying to be welcoming at the same time.  So basically I wrote a negative version, a positive version, and I guess blending them, this is the mixed / “neutral” version, but now I really need to move on and start writing entirely fresh stuff for the chapter.  (I actually do have a later section written too, it’s just...a question of if it’ll still fit.)
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ryqoshay · 5 years ago
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How to Handle a Maki: Maki’s First Adventure
Primary Pairing: NicoMaki Words: ~8k Rating: T? Maybe G; I’ve been overcautious as of late it seems AU: RPG Time Frame: ??? Story Arc: Stand Alone
Author’s Note: And now I’m writing a fourth fic... yay?
As with the first chapter of Heavenly Life, this serves as a proof of concept, this time for an idea I had when writing HL (AU). If I’m going to start writing a fantasy, non-canon compliant AU for YohaRiko, why not do so for NicoMaki as well?
Also, major thanks to noelclover for providing inspiration via amazing RPG NicoMaki fanart - links will be provided in the followup post. I consider it an honor and a privilege to have been able to brainstorm ideas with a fellow fanwork creator and pray this work lives up to what was in mind upon creation of the aforementioned art.
Edit: Upon reviewing this chapter for purposes of writing something else, I realized something either didn't copy/past right or didn't save correctly when I originally wrote it in Word. As such, I have added a bit just before Maki's first adventure actually begins. Nothing major, just a bit of in-universe explaining as to why some things ended up as they did.
Maki was happy.
For the first time in what seemed like forever, she was truly, honestly, happy. She had arrived at her destination. And had done so all by herself.
She had not ridden in a fancy carriage owned by her family. Instead, she had walked, despite it taking over a week, not just a few days. Along the way, she had not stopped at the homes of local nobles where she knew she would be showered with gifts and granted the best room and board they could offer. Instead, she had stayed at each town’s tavern, where she had rented a room and had eaten the food provide by said taverns. On the nights she was unable to make it to the next town, she had made do with supplies she had brought with her. The clothes she wore were not ornate in any way and did not sacrifice comfort for style. Instead, they were hearty and durable, would not tear at the slightest of snags, and had no hem that needed to be held up to allow her to move.
And, perhaps most important of all, she had been able to earn money on her own, money not given to her by her wealthy parents simply for being their daughter. She had found many opportunities to sing and perform for coins tossed into her hat to help supplement her finances. Nothing about the journey had been extremely luxurious as far as she was concerned, but it had been enough to get by.
Now she stood in front of an old, but sturdy structure that was smaller than she had been led to believe. Her feet were sore from all of the walking, she had depleted much of her rations, she desperately wanted to bathe and sleep in a bed, and the wonderful aroma wafting through the cracks in the door made her stomach grumble, but she was here. She had finally arrived at the guildhouse of the Yazawa branch of the Adventurer’s Guild.
This particular branch had been suggested to Maki by Rin, the fiancée of her friend Hanayo. The two of them had recently started frequenting this location because they were fond of the manager, one Yazawa Nico. Apparently Hanayo and Nico shared some strange obsession with idols, both ancient and contemporary. Rin didn’t quite understand her fiancée’s fascination with statues but was happy to support her in her research and adventures. Maki definitely didn’t get it either, but she trusted Hanayo and thus had decided her first adventure would be some idol research for this Nico person.
She knocked on the door and awaited a response. Nothing for several minutes. She knocked again, a little harder this time.
“It’s unlocked!” A voice came from within.
Unlocked? Maki glanced from side to side. No guards in sight. Was Nico some sort of mage that warded off intruders via magic? Or perhaps Nico was just that trusting of others in the world? Then again, perhaps in the eyes of a thief, this place didn’t look like it was worth looting?
Memories came to her of all the guards, servants and the like who were ever-present around the noble and royal folk and their property. Though certainly possible, it was difficult to harm or steal from those in higher society, if for no other reason than the sheer number of potential witnesses. Heck even the taverns in which she had stayed often had a handful of people around that could deal with situations. But this place…
“You coming in or not?” The voice called again.
“Right, sorry…” Maki replied, finally opening the door. Immediately, a warm breeze slipped past her, carrying with it a potent burst of the aroma she had smelled earlier, causing her stomach to grumble again. “Hello?” She called into the building
“In the kitchen!”
Maki followed the sounds and smells of cooking. Turning the corner, she stopped in her tracks at the sight before her. Without a doubt, she had found the kitchen and the source of the tantalizing smell. But what struck her was the individual currently preparing what looked like a feast for no less than twenty people. With dark black hair pulled up in youthful twintails that bounced along as she practically danced from pot to spit to chopping board was a girl at least two years younger than her, possibly more.
“Welcome!” The girl said, turning a brilliant smile toward her.
“Uhm… is this the Yazawa Branch Guildhouse?” Maki asked.
“You got the right place. Now what can I do for you?” The girl reached over to stir the pot while she talked.
“I’m supposed to ask for the branch guildmaster, Yazawa Nico?”
“You found her.”
“…” Maki blinked. Surly she was being pranked. There was no way a kid was in charge of a guild, even if just a branch.
“So again, what can I do for you?” The girl repeated her previous question, her smile waning ever so slightly as a bit of impatience seeped into her voice.
“I’d… like to speak with Yazawa Nico.”
The smile dissipated entirely, replaced by a scowl as the girl put a hand on her hip. “That’s me.”
Part of Maki wanted to give her credit for her dedication the act, but she needed to get down to business. “Look, kid…” She cut off as a guttural growl came through the girl’s sneer.
“Onee-chan!” a young voice shouted from the direction of the door.
Immediately, the girl’s smile returned, somehow even brighter than when she had initially greeted Maki. Half a second later, a smaller version of the girl barreled past Maki.
“Cocoa!” Another smaller version appeared. “Don’t run in the kitchen when Onee-sama is cooking!”
“Smell good…” A third voice drawled.
There were four of them? Maki’s gaze shifted among them. They all had vibrant crimson eyes and dark hair, though one’s hair was a bit more on the brown side. And she was pretty sure the shortest one was a boy. Maybe…
“Ah, a guest.” The polite one turned toward Maki and greeted her with a bow. “Are you a new recruit?”
“Maybe?” Maki replied.
“That’s wonderful. Onee-sama may be the No. 1 Guildmaster in the Universe, but it has been difficult for her to get new recruits as of late.”
“Cocoro.” The purported No. 1 Guildmaster said with a disapproving air.
“Sorry, Onee-sama.”
“We’re doing just fine here.”
“My name is Cocoro, by the way.” The girl said, turning back to the guest. “And your name?”
“Maki.”
“It has been nice to meet you, Maki-san.” Cocoro smiled. “I’ll go set the table.” She then told her sister.
“Thanks.” The guildmaster then patted the head of the girl still wrapped around her waist. “Cocoa, go play with Cotaro. I’ll call you when dinner is ready.”
“Alright.” Cocoa replied, detaching herself. “Hi, Maki-san.” She said, running past the redhead.
“So, Princess,” Nico turned her attention to Maki “you got a surname to go with that gorgeous face and rude attitude?”
“Gor… rude? P-Princess?” Maki couldn’t decide what to react to first. “What the heck?”
“That’s what your name means, right? True Princess? What, did your parents hope you would marry into royalty or something?”
“No, I, uhm…”
“What, you gotta problem with people knowing your family name?” Nico’s eyes widened. “Maybe you have a bounty on your head?”
“Buweeh?!” Maki balked. “Bounty? No, that’s not it.” She shook her head. “That’s not it at all.”
“Hrm, a shame.” Nico shrugged. “Could’ve used the reward…”
Maki deadpanned at the other girl. “Nishikino. My name is Nishikino Maki.” Though as soon as she said it, Maki wondered if she shouldn’t have come up with an alias instead of using her real name. Her given name was probably fine, but…
“Nishikino Maki.” Nico repeated. “Has a bit of a regal sound to it.”
Wait, did that mean Nico didn’t know about the clerical clan headed by the Nishikino family? What kind of adventurers guildmaster hadn’t heard of the Nishikino clerics, even if just a backwater branch manager?
“I guess…” Maki admitted, reaching up unconsciously to twirl a strand of hair around a finger.
Nico shrugged it off. “So, back to my still unanswered question, what can I do for you?”
“Rin and Hanayo recommended I come here to get a contract.”
“Beginner adventurer, eh?”
Maki wanted to deny and claim that she had some experience, but Nico continued.
“Yeah, I have a few things we could do.”
“We?”
“Of course. I’ll go with you on your first contract or two; show you the ropes of adventuring and dungeon crawling. Cocoro can watch the place while we’re away and everything will be fine.”
“I see…”
“So, I’ll get the paperwork and gear together later and we can head out in the morning. But for tonight, you can join us for dinner then we’ll see about getting you a room.”
“Alright.” Maki found herself getting a little excited. Despite the hiccup with introductions, things seemed to be going well and she was one step closer to her new life of adventure.
“Anyway, I’m almost done here, so go hang out for a bit, but don’t go upstairs.”
“Huh?”
“NozoEli are up there.”
“Nozoeli…?”
“Sorry, Nozomi and Eli.” Nico corrected. “They’re two people, but since they’re practically attached at the hip, some of us refer to them as NozoEli. Kinda like RinPana, the ones who sent you here.”
“I… don’t get it…?” Maki had never heard her friends referred to in such a way.
“Anyway, they’re up there ‘celebrating’ Eli’s successful hunt, so unless you want to be scarred for life, don’t go up there. Nozomi has been pretty good lately in remembering to cast a spell to soundproof the room, but still usually forgets to lock the door, so if you go into the wrong one…” Nico shook her head as thought to clear unwanted memories.
Seems like not locking doors is commonplace around here, Maki mused to herself.
“Mmm… that smells delicious, Nicocchi.” A voice came from the direction of the stairs.
“The kids are here, Nozomi,” Nico replied without even looking “so you’d better be wearing pants this time.”
“Is a skirt alright?”
“You know what I mean.”
The girl coming down from the upper floor giggled. Long purple hair fell down to her hips and green eyes held a gaze that gave the feeling she knew more than she would ever let on. A smile matched the knowingness of her aura as she noticed Maki.
“Elicchi will be down in a bit.” Nozomi directed toward Nico despite her approaching Maki. “She’s a bit more tired than I am; wore her out a bit, it seems.”
Nico groaned and rolled her eyes.
“Tojo Nozomi.” The purple-haired girl greeted, holding out a hand. “A pleasure to meet you, Maki-chan.”
Maki blinked but accepted the handshake anyway.
“Don’t let her get to you, Nishikino.” Nico spoke up. “She’s like that with pretty much everyone.” She finally turned her attention away from her meal preparation. “You know you could try being a bit more formal at first from time to time, Nozomi.”
“Says the girl calling her Princess.” Nozomi grinned.
“Yeah, but that’s what her name…”
“Oh, is that ready? I’ll bring it out to the table.” She grabbed serving tray filled with carved meat.
“Thanks, but no sneaking a bi… hey! I saw that!”
The purple-haired girl laughed through a mouthful of meat as she made her escape to the dining room.
Nico sighed and shook her head. “Sometimes I wonder why I put up with her…”
“Because I’m your best source for rare components and you know it!” Nozomi called from the other room.
“Yeah, yeah…” Nico made a dismissive motion with her hand despite knowing the other girl couldn’t see it. “Anyway, Nishikino, if you would be so kind as to take this and follow Nozomi, we can eat soon.”
“Maki is fine.” Maki stated as she accepted the platter of crudités.
“Right, and I’ll overlook the kid thing if you call me Nico, the No. 1 Guildmaster in the Universe.”
The redhead couldn’t help deadpanning again.
“Or just Nico.” The raven-haired girl conceded with a smile.
As Maki made her way to the dining room, she found herself wondering if the No. 1 thing had been a joke or a test. Either way, she did feel a bit bad about misjudging the guildmaster’s age. She knew how she felt when being patronized by those older than her due to her age or lack of experience.
Although… had she actually misjudged Nico’s age? She had younger siblings, sure, and was the manager of this branch, but that didn’t mean she had to be any particular age, or even an adult for that matter. Maki was pretty sure she remembered reading the account of a girl who had taken command of a small mercenary guild when she was barely eleven. Not that it really mattered either way, but perhaps she should ask that Nozomi girl.
For better or worse, Maki was unable to inquire about Nico as the moment she made it to the table, a blonde shambled down the stairs, looking like she had just run a marathon. Said blonde introduced herself as Eli and took a seat next to Nozomi who immediately clamped a hand on her leg, earning a disparaging remark from Nico. Cocoro called her other two siblings and once everyone was at the table, they began their meal.
Conversation was lighthearted as full introductions were made and several stories were told. Nozomi insisted Eli tell the epic tale of her hunt earlier that day before sharing a story of her own, one seemingly designed specifically to embarrass Nico in front of the guest. The raven-haired girl fired back with what Maki assumed to be an embarrassing anecdote about Nozomi, but the purple-haired girl merely laughed it off.
All in all, the experience had been quite enjoyable for Maki and stood in stark contrast to the extravagant banquets and parties she had regularly been required to attend growing up. The food was surprisingly on par, simple in appearance, but flavorful and filling. And the company was in an entirely different realm. Nobody was approaching her with the intent of talking themselves up in hopes that she would put in a good word for them with her parents or some other noble. Nobody was sucking up to anyone, in fact. Everyone was just happily enjoying the company and were including her like they had known her for years. It was all a bit… strange, but pleasantly so.
And while she was not accustomed to doing so, Maki had been more than happy to join in clearing the table after the meal. The kids were out the door moments later, leaving the four older girls to relax for the evening.
“I’ll make some tea.” Nozomi offered before heading toward the kitchen.
“Thanks, Nozomi.” Nico replied before turning to Maki. “Now, about the bill.”
The bill? For the meal? “Oh, uhm… alright.” Maki began fumbling for her coin pouch.
“Nicocchi.” Nozomi’s tone held a scolding air despite her playful expression as she turned back toward them. “You know Eli and I provided everything for that meal, right?”
“But I cooked it.” Nico insisted. “My labor has to be worth something.”
“So, are you going to charge your siblings as well?”
“Of course not, they’re family.”
“Alright, then what of the leftovers?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if we were to take what Maki-chan ate out of what Elicchi and I will be taking with us?”
Nico opened her mouth to argue further but paused to think for a moment. “You know what, fine, we’ll just call it all even.” She turned back to Maki. “But standard room and board fees will apply if you want to stay here for the night and have breakfast in the morning.”
“Alright.” Maki pulled out a handful of gold coins from her pouch. “Will this cover it?”
Nico’s eyes bulged. “Ye…” Her voice cracked so she cleared her throat before continuing. “This much is fine.” She said, taking only one of the offered coins. “We can work out a weekly or monthly fee later if you end up sticking around a while. And of course if you join the guild, there is an even bigger discount, and I can deduct it directly from your pay.”
Maki nodded in agreement before the two made their way to the living room to join Eli.
“Tea is ready.” Nozomi announced a few minutes later, carrying a tray toward the fireplace.
“Almost done here.” Nico stated, stacking a few more logs. “Want to do the honors?” She offered, turning to the purple-haired girl.
“Of course.” The mage replied, and with a quick snap, a crackling fire leaped up from the wood. “So, Maki-chan,” she directed her attention toward the redhead “know any good songs?”
“Quite a few, actually.” Maki retrieved her lute. “Any requests?”
Nozomi shrugged. “Bard’s choice.”
“Alright.” Maki agreed and immediately began to play.
Nozomi took a seat next to Eli and leaned into the blonde who put her arm around her as they settled in to enjoy the show.
For her part, Nico sat back and let the stringed melody envelope her. Then the singing started. And for a moment, she wasn’t sure if her heart had merely skipped a beat or stopped altogether. Maki’s voice… it was heavenly. The redhead matched her tone flawlessly with her instrument, blending their harmonies in ways Nico had never imagined possible. And the song. She’d never heard it before, yet it felt so familiar that she found herself wanting to join in.
And then it was over. Nico suddenly remembered to breathe and leaned back into her chair without knowing when she had sat forward.
“Bravo!” Nozomi cheered, disturbing Eli from her trance similar to Nico’s. “Encore!”
Maki smiled at the request and obliged, filling the guildhouse again with music.
Nico had lost track of how many songs were sung but was happy Maki had gone with a few she knew and had let her sing along. Eli and Nozomi started drifting off to the later songs as though they were lullabies and Maki chose slower, softer songs to accommodate. Eventually, with some reluctance, Nico called an end to the concert, reminding Maki that the two of them had an early morning. However, as the other three girls shuffled upstairs, Nico instead headed to her office. The others would sleep, but she still had work to do.
Maki’s eyes opened slowly at what sounded like a knock on her door.
“Time to wake up!” Nico’s voice called from the hallway. “Your breakfast is already getting cold!”
Wearily, Maki sat up, stretched and yawned. With a deep breath through her nose, she inhaled another amazing aroma, a bit different from last night’s but enough to make her stomach grumble. Though part of her wanted to go back to sleep in the surprisingly comfortable, yet simple and small bed, the rest of her wanted more of the guildmaster’s delicious cooking. Thus, she crawled out of bed, wrapped her cape around her shoulders and shambled downstairs.
“Good morning!” Nico greeted her cheerfully, “Who knows when NozoEli will be down, but you and I have a few things to do before we head out.”
“Mmmph…” Was all Maki managed in response before collapsing into a chair at the table.
“Not a morning person, eh?” Nico chuckled. “Well if you’re gonna be an adventurer, we’re going to have to work on that.” She set a steaming cup in front of the redhead. “Here, I’ve found this stuff to be more effective than tea. Not sure where Nozomi gets the beans though.”
“Beans?” Maki lifted the mug to inspect the dark liquid within.
“Yeah, instead of leaves I guess. Strange, I know.” The raven-haired girl shrugged. “But it does the trick and helps me stay awake to concentrate on my duties.”
“Mmm…” Maki hummed after taking her first sip. The brew was definitely different than the tea to which she was accustomed, but not in a bad way. If it was truly more effective than tea, she figured she wouldn’t have a problem getting used to it.
“And here’s your breakfast.” A plate appeared in font of her as well. “I reused some stuff from last night, but the eggs are fresh.” Nico explained before taking a seat herself.
Breakfast proceeded mainly in silence, as Maki’s mind stumbled in getting through her morning fog. However, she did notice Nico seeming to pay particular attention to her with each bite she took, as if evaluating her reactions. Had she done that last night? Maki couldn’t remember. Perhaps the general hubbub of NozoE… Nozomi and Eli, she found it odd to refer to them together, and Nico’s siblings had distracted her?
In any case, Maki was familiar with the behavior as she had watched many chefs, as well as other servants, await the approval of the nobles they served. So, did that mean Nico wanted Maki’s approval?
“That was delicious.” Maki said after her final bite.
“I know, right?” A brilliant smile turned up the guildmaster’s lips. “Nico is the No. 1 Chef in the Universe after all.”
Maki raised an eyebrow. She wouldn’t have gone that far, but she would certainly admit that Nico’s skill exceeded those of at least some chefs she had encountered over the years. And what the heck was with the No. 1 thing? Didn’t she refer to herself as the No. 1 Guildmaster as well? Or did her sister say that? It didn’t matter, either way it quite the strange way to refer to oneself. And presumptuous. There was no way Nico had been able to meet and compare herself to every other guildmaster or chef in the realm, much less the universe.
However, as prideful as the proclamation had been, Maki couldn’t deny that seeing the other girl happy managed to make her happy as well. Nico was quite cute when smiling that brightly.
And on the topic of cuteness, gone were the girlish twintails of the prior night, replaced instead with low, twin buns that managed to increase her visual maturity without diminishing her cuteness. In fact, Nico’s entire outfit was more professional, yet no less adorable. She definitely looked more like a guildmaster today than when they had first met. And the pink pouch on her belt was a fitting highlight, if Maki were to assume the other girl’s color preference.
“So, you’re done?” Nico’s question brought Maki back to reality.
“Uhm, yeah…”
“Very well,” Nico stood and collected the plates “Let me bring these back to the kitchen. Wait here and I’ll get your contract and supplies. Feel free to top off your mug if you want.” She motioned to the carafe of the curious concoction.
Maki was more than happy to partake as she realized she was indeed waking up faster than normal. She sipped at her fresh cup while awaiting Nico’s return.
“Here we go; your Standard Issue Beginner Adventurer’s Pack.” A backpack was set on the table. “And, here is an itemized receipt of everything in it.” Nico held a slip of paper out for Maki to take. “If you feel you don’t need a particular item, or already have one, return it now for a full refund. However, once you leave here, it will be considered used and you’ll only get half price.”
“Half?”
“Standard operating procedure.” Nico explained. “You’ll find the other shopkeeps will all offer the same.”
“Hrm…” Maki began to study the list. “Torches?”
“We’ll be going into a cave, can you see in the dark?”
“No…”
“Do you know any spells the cast light?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Then you’ll need a light source. Otherwise you are likely to be eaten by a grue.”
“Eaten? Grue?” Maki blanched. “What the heck?”
“Kidding. Kidding.” Nico laughed. “There have been no reports of grue attacks in this area for at least a few weeks. But do be wary of the occasional gazebo.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Anyway, all adventurers need light eventually, so I include torches in the standard pack. However, due to your apparent finances, I would personally recommend an Everburning Torch. You’ll never need to replace it, unless you lose it, of course. Which reminds me,” She produced another slip “here are a few other upgrades I would recommend.”
“Rope? Why would I need rope?” Maki was still looking at the original list.
Nico sighed. “I could literally spend all day explaining the various uses for rope. Suffice to say every adventurer needs it at some point.”
“What’s a crowbar?”
Nico balked a bit before opening the backpack and retrieving said item. “You can use it to pry things open; doors, chests, and whatnot.” She made a couple motions to demonstrate. “Technically you can use it as a weapon in a pinch, but I’d recommend you use the daggers in here instead.”
“Daggers?”
“Everyone needs a backup weapon or two. We’ll get to your primary weapon in a moment.”
“Alright… Oh, I already have a mirror, soap and these as well.”
“Of course you do.” Nico reached into the backpack to remove the named items.
“What’s a handy haversack?”
Nico’s eyes lit up. “Only one of the best utility items an adventurer can have!”
“It’s a backpack…”
“Not just any backpack! It’s bigger on the inside!”
Maki raised an eyebrow.
“Magic. Extra-dimensional space and all that. In any case, it can hold far more than a regular backpack. And it will magically sort your inventory so whatever you’re looking for will always appear on top for easy retrieval. Keep that lute of yours safe and sound but retrieve it with ease. Feet sore from lugging around a hundred pounds of stuff? The haversack only weighs five, even with everything in it.”
“Alright, I’ll try one.”
“Excellent.” Nico grinned. “I’ll be right back.” She turned and took two steps but paused. “Actually, follow me and bring that pack. We’ll get you a weapon while we’re at it.”
Maki did as instructed and followed the guildmaster into a room full of supplies.
“You’re in luck. This is my last one.” Nico said, taking a backpack off a hook on the wall. “A bargain at twice the price.” She set it down on a counter. “Go ahead and start moving stuff while we talk weapons.”
Maki nodded.
“I noticed you didn’t appear to have a weapon of your own when you arrived, so I’m assuming you stuck to main roads on your way here.” Nico move to a display rack. “But you never know what you’re going to encounter out there in the wild, so you best be prepared. Do you prefer ranged or melee?”
“I’m not sure…?”
“Have you had any archery practice?”
Maki shook her head.
“Melee it is. Now, anyone can swing a blunt object around and cause some damage, but have you had any training with a blade?”
“I had some fencing lessons growing up.”
“Ah, then perhaps you’d be interested in a rapier.” Nico selected a blade and moved over to the other girl.
“Yes, that looks familiar.” Maki nodded, accepting the sword. “It’s quite lovely.”
“I know, right?” The guildmaster puffed out her chest with pride. “Nico is the No 1 Blacksmith in the Universe.”
There it was again. By the gods this girl had one hell of an ego. But while it was starting to get on Maki’s nerves, she couldn’t deny the rapier she now held was indeed of masterwork quality.
“Also, here is you contract for this adventure.” Nico produced a sizable scroll. “Here is your base pay, and a statement about the commission you will earn based on the price of the artifact you retrieve. Please initial here to acknowledge it.” Her finger moved about the page to point things out. “And here we have a section about revival. Check Yes if you wish to be revived upon death, but be aware that the price of materials for the spell as well as all expenses incurred in locating and retrieving your body will be deducted from your pay. Or check No if you do not desire this service. Then initial here to acknowledge your decision.”
“You’re kidding again, right?”
“Not in the slightest. This is just standard contract stuff. But don’t worry too much about it. Where we’re going, even an amateur like you should be fine.”
“Hrm…”
“Anyway, if you check Yes, you will be charged a nominal deposit for the tracking device, which will be refunded upon its return in good and working order. Additional fees may apply for damage to or loss of the device.”
“Tracking device?”
“Something of my own creation.” Nico said, retrieving a small, metallic object from a nearby shelf. “Once it’s registered to you, it will monitor your vitals. If it detects that vitals have ceased, it will start transmitting a signal I can use to locate and revive you.”
“But you’re coming with me right?’
“I am.”
“So, why would I need this?”
“You never know what might happen out there. Maybe we get separated.” Nico explained. “Also, once you’ve registered a device, you can just keep it with you for however long you’re in the area. Heck, NozoEli still have theirs even though it’s been over a year since they last contracted with me.”
“Have either of them needed to use it?”
“That’s privileged information. But while I won’t reveal which clients have made use of this service, I will say that some have. Better safe than sorry.”
Maki thought for a moment before reaching over, checking Yes and initialing next to it.
“Excellent decision.” Nico said with a grin before doing something with the device in her hand. “Alright, place your finger here until it flashes.”
Maki did as asked.
“Perfect. Now just keep this in a pouch or pocket or whatever.” Nico explained handing over the tracker. “Just not in the haversack. I haven’t figured out how to make its sensors work through the extra-dimensional space yet. But I am still working on it. Anyway, please initial here, here and here as well. Then sign all the way down at the bottom.”
“Nico-chan!” a voice called from the entryway.
“Coming!” Nico raised her voice in response. “Finish up with this.” She instructed Maki. “And double check those lists to make sure you have everything you need. We’ll be back by dinner, so you won’t need stuff for overnight, but you’ll still want to be prepared. And of course let me know if you see anything else you want.”
“Alright.” Maki nodded.
And with that, Nico headed to the front door.
“Kotori!” Nico greeted her guest warmly. “It’s been a while. And I know that look. What kind of creature did you bring this time?”
Kotori smiled apologetically and lead the way back outside.
Nico immediately facepalmed. “A lion? Really? Where did you even find…” She glanced up to see the other girl’s eyes brimming with tears. “Fine.” She conceded, despite knowing it was an act. “But carnivores are going to cost extra.”
“Thanks Nico-chan!” The ash-haired girl practically jumped with joy.
“Yeah, yeah.” Nico dismissed. “Maybe you can convince Eli to hunt down some food so I don’t have to buy it.”
“Hunt down what now?” A voice came from behind them.
“Ah, Eli-chan!” Kotori’s attention was drawn to the blonde descending the stairs. “Just who I wanted to see!”
“What’s up, Kotori?” Eli smiled in greeting.
“I received word that a Corrupted boar was recently terrorizing the town of Arcton.” The ash-haired girl explained. “I tracked it to this area and believe it’s heading toward Lerwick.”
“Arcton is fairly well guarded, I can see why it would have moved on.” Eli grimaced. “But Lerwick... If it’s Corrupted enough, it could wipe them out.”
Kotori nodded somberly. “And from the reports, it may be beyond the point where I can save it.”
“Alright, I’ll get my gear and be ready in a bit.” Eli turned halfway to go back upstairs. “Say, do you mind if Nozomi joins us?”
“Of course not. You know I always welcome her company. And her magic might prove useful.”
“I figured you two would be leaving today.” Nico spoke up. “There are bentos in the kitchen for you. Take what you want, and I’ll add them to your bill.”
“Thanks Nico.” Eli tossed over her shoulder.
“I made plenty if you want to buy a few.” Nico offered to Kotori.
“Wonderful.” The other girl clapped her hands together with a smile. “I most certainly will partake.”
“Everything is signed.” Maki said, coming outside. “W-wait, wha?” She stumbled in retreating and found herself leaning awkwardly against the doorframe.
Kotori giggled. “Oh, he won’t bite.” She stroked the mane of the lion laying beside her.
“You’re not going to react that way the first time you encounter a wolf or whatnot, are you, Maki?” Nico asked, taking the paperwork from the redhead.
“Maki?” Kotori tilted her head. “Nishikino Maki?”
Maki blinked. “Uhm… yes…”
“You know her, Kotori?” Nico asked what was on both her and Maki’s minds.
“She’s a friend of Umi-chan.”
“Umi?”
Kotori giggled. “We should work on your knowledge of nobility and royalty, Nico-chan.”
“Hmph.” Nico scoffed. “As if I care about those high class muckety mucks.”
Maki wasn’t sure if she should interject, but she often felt similar, despite, or perhaps because of the fact that she had been raised in said high society. Instead she asked, “Sonoda Umi?”
“That’s right.” Kotori confirmed. “We’ve been friends since childhood, but I haven’t seen her in a few years, unfortunately. Not since…” She trailed off and she diverted her gaze down. “Never mind.” She cleared her throat and looked back up, her smile seeming a bit off. “I wouldn’t’ve expected to find you here, Maki-chan.”
“I’m, uhm… trying my hand as an adventuring bard.” Maki decided to explain.
“I see. That sounds wonderful.” Kotori’s smile softened and become more genuine. “Let me know if you ever want a beastmaster in your party.”
“I will.” Maki agreed.
“Oh yeah, Maki,” Nico spoke up, “change of plans.”
“Hm?”
“Looks like you’ll be going alone today. I have a new pen to build.”
“But…”
“You’ll be fine.” The guildmaster assured. “It’s a simple fetch quest. You’ll be back before dinner. And on the plus side, you’ll earn more because you won’t be charged for my assistance.”
“…” The bard seemed hesitant to agree for a moment before relenting. “Alright.”
Over the next half hour, the girls finished preparing for the day. Eli and Nozomi followed Kotori’s lead to hunt down the boar. Maki began following her map to find the hidden idol. And Nico began gathering materials to build a pen for Kotori’s new beast.
Maki squinted at the map in her hands. After some scrutiny, she looked up at the cliffside. This was the place, right? It had to be. She traced the landmark on the map with her finger as though the action would somehow make things clearer. Well, in any case, if this was indeed the right place, there would have to be a cave entrance somewhere at the base of the cliff.
Still rechecking the map, she took a step forward and…
“Kyaaa!” She shrieked as her boot clipped an exposed root and she stumbled down to her knees. “Ow ow ow oooowww~!” She cried, rolling back into a sitting position.
That was stupid. She chastised herself, inspecting the scrape marks on both knees that were just starting to bleed. Hissing, she quickly brushed away some of the larger chunks of debris. Then, holding a hand over each knee, she began to sing.
A soft red glow appeared between hand and wound and after a few seconds, both were mended. However, despite having fully healed her injury, Maki did not stop singing, mostly because the song was not over. As the melody continued, she fetched a handkerchief and waterskin from her bag. Then, after dampening the cloth, she cleared away the last of the dirt. Finally, she stood back up.
“Ssssing…” A voice like leaves in the wind rasped from behind her.
Startled, Maki spun to face whoever had spoken. “Who…?” She asked, not seeing anybody. “Where…?”
“Ssssing…” The voice repeated.
Up. Maki looked toward the branches above her to see a woman, body half covered in feathers, perched in a nearby tree.
“Who are you?” Maki inquired.
With a flap of wings, the woman descended to hover in front of the redhead. Maki froze as she noticed the bow nocked with a wickedly tipped arrow pointing at her. She doubted she could draw her rapier and close the distance before being hit with one, possibly two arrows.
“Sing!” The bird woman demanded, drawing the bow.
“A-alright…” Maki held out both hands defensively, revealing them to be empty. “I’ll sing…”
And with that, Maki began a new song. One that was different than her healing song, one she hoped would calm and placate.
Sure enough, halfway through the first chorus, the feathered woman lowered her bow. By the second, she had moved to a nearby rock to perch.
“Another.” The winged woman stated as soon as Maki finished.
“Uhm… do you mind if I fetch my instrument from my bag?” Maki inquired.
The bird woman cocked her head to the side with curiosity, but Maki noticed her grip tightening on her bow.
“It’s just a lute.” Maki explained, slowly removing her bag from her shoulders and setting it on the ground in front of her anything she did would be in clear view. “It will make my songs even better.” She assured. Then, careful to avoid sudden movements, she found her lute and pulled just the end out to show that it was not a weapon. Once the bird woman seemed satisfied with the lack of threat from the instrument, she removed it completely and slid its strap over her shoulder.
Maki plucked a few strings to reassure herself the lute was still in tune before strumming a full chord. Satisfied with the results, she began a second song. She watched the feathered woman’s features relax as the melodies washed over her. And while she did not release her bow completely, Maki was pleased to see her grip loosen.
“Another.” The bird woman stated again as the second song concluded.
Maki nodded and started her third song. This time, however, the feathered woman straightened her posture, opened her mouth, and began to sing along. Though initially startled, Maki did not let the unexpected accompaniment detract from her performance. And after a few moments, she allowed herself to be in awe as an almost perfect countermelody was provided to her song. Maki doubted the bird woman knew the song, as it was one she had written herself and had never performed for any non-human individuals; at least not knowingly. This meant the bird woman’s musical intuition was on par, if not exceed her own.
A fourth song. A fifth. A sixth.
Maki honestly felt like she could continue for hours.
A seventh song. An eighth. A ninth.
Maki began to lose count but didn’t care.
And then the feathered woman stood. As though coming out of a trance, Maki slowly focused on her vocal partner of the last… however long it had been.
“Thank you.” The bird woman said with a slight bow. “That was…” She seemed hesitant for a moment “fun” she concluded.
“Yes, it was.” Maki agreed with a smile.
With one more nod of acknowledgment, the woman flapped her wings and took to the trees. Within seconds, she was gone.
Strange. But enjoyable. Maki found herself thinking before continuing her search for the cave.
Nico wiped the sweat off her brow and glared up at the accursed yellow thing above her. In all honesty, it wasn’t a particularly warm day, but there wasn’t a cloud in the sky to block the sun’s rays, nor even a whisper of wind to help cool things off. For a moment she found herself envious of her friends and potential new recruit who were all trekking through shaded forest at this time.
Yellow movement caught the corner of her eye and she turned her gaze toward the lion sleeping nearby. The beast had rolled onto its back and pawed a few times at the air. Nico scoffed. Even the large cat was enjoying the shade of the tree to which it was tethered while she toiled away building its new pen.
Perhaps that should be her next creation; a portable shade device, or perhaps an automated fan. Or maybe even a combination there of? Nico made a mental note to draw up some designs later as she fed another log through her custom milling device.
This was the idol, right? Maki studied the sketch in her hands. It had to be. She held up the parchment near the small statue for a better comparison. Maybe if you ignored this part and added that… She turned the page sideways. Close enough. She grabbed the idol and shoved it in one of the pouches on her belt.
Nico had been mostly right, at least insofar as the ease of locating the idol. Travel to the cave had taken a bit longer, and the monsters had been a bit tougher than indicated, but Maki had made it through. She felt a swell of pride as she made her way back toward the entrance; she had completed her first adventure. On her own. Without any help.
Well, mostly complete. She did still have to make it back to the guildhouse, but that should be easy, right? She flipped the map upside down and headed out of the cave.
Where the heck was Maki? She should have been back by now. Nico checked the distress tracker again. At least the new adventurer was still alive, so that was good. But what was taking her so long?
Did she get lost? No, that couldn’t be the case. Even her younger siblings could figure out how to get to that cave and retrieve the idol within.
Maybe Maki was so much of a beginner that just the hike to the cave wore her out and she was taking extended breaks? Nico tried to remember if the redhead had purchased proper sleeping gear in case she needed to camp out for the night. And rations. Had she brought enough food for an extra day?
Well, whatever the case, her siblings would be arriving for dinner at any moment, so she took one last taste from the pot to make sure it was ready before moving to the dining room to set the table.
A knock on the door made Nico look up from her desk.
“It’s open!” She called.
“I’m back.” Maki’s voice came from the entryway.
About time. Nico thought. “I’m in the office.”
A moment later, the redhead came in the room and immediately stopped to stare at Nico.
“What?” Nico questioned as Maki slowly walked toward her with a strange expression.
“Nico-chan!” Maki threw herself on the guildmaster, knocking her out of her chair.
Nico grunted as she landed on the floor and arms wrapped tightly around her.
Nico-chan? What the heck is going on? Nico’s mind raced through ideas attempting to discern the most likely possibility. However, her thoughts were completely derailed when the redhead nuzzled against her cheek.
“What are you doing?” Nico cried. “Hey, let go of me.” She started to attempt to remove herself from the embrace.
“Noo~~!” Maki whined, hugging tighter.
“Maki, seriously, what are you doing?”
The redhead pulled away just enough to make eye contact. Nico internally cursed her heart for skipping a beat at the sheer adorableness of Maki’s pout.
“Does Nico-chan hate me?” Moisture gathered at the edges of the bard’s eyes.
“No, I just…” The guildmaster struggled to put her words together. “I just want to know what’s going on and why you’re hugging me.”
“I’m hugging Nico-chan because I love Nico-chan.”
“L-love?!”
“Yup!” Maki began snuggling against her again. “I lo~ve Nico-chan so~ much!” She practically sang.
“But, I…” Nico’s head lulled. Wait, what the heck? No. She wasn’t tired. She still had work to do!
“Nico-chan…” Maki sighed with contentment.
Maki was pretty warm… And despite its unexpected nature, her embrace was… pretty comf… No! She wasn’t… ti… No… She refused to… fall…
Nico opened her eyes. Had she fallen asleep? Damn! What time was it? Her mind ticked off all of her remaining duties of the day. Gods, she would be so far behind now. She attempted to sit up, only to find she was being hindered by an arm across her stomach. What the hell?!
The movement caused the arm’s owner to stir and murmur something quietly that sounded not too dissimilar to Nico’s name. She glanced over and immediately recognized tangles of red hair on a head currently trying to close the distance she had just created between them. Why was Maki in her bed with her? And why, by all that was holy, was she so adorable?
“Ah, you’re awake.” The door opened and a purple-haired girl stepped in.
“Nozomi?”
“Good morning.”
“Morning?”
“Afternoon, actually.”
Nico’s eyes widened and she tensed up until a gentle hand landed on her shoulder.
“You slept through the night, and most of the day.” Nozomi smiled at her friend. “But don’t worry. Everything is fine. You obviously needed it. And we all pitched in to take care of things; Elicchi, Kotori-chan, your sisters, even little Cotaro-kun helped a bit.”
Nico stared the other girl for a moment while she processed the information. “How did I get here?” She finally asked. She was pretty sure that when she had collapsed, she had been downstairs.
“Maki-chan insisted on carrying you.”
Maki-chan carried…? “Did she also change my clothes?”
“No, I did that.” Nozomi chuckled at the memory. “Despite her protests.”
“What the heck is going on with her?”
“I think she was cursed by the idol you sent her to retrieve.”
“That can’t be right.” Nico furrowed her brow. “That thing is harmless, certainly not cursed. It’s the same one I’ve used for all beginner adventurers; just keep putting it back for them.”
Nozomi produced a small statue and held it out to the other girl.
“That’s… not the right idol. Where she get that?”
“I’ve no idea.” Nozomi admitted. “You’re the idol expert.”
“Yeah, and I’ve never even seen that in any of my books…”
“Well the only thing I’ve been able to determine is that the curse only seems to be able to affect one person at a time, thus why I’m able to safely hold it.”
“That or the curse is contingent on who actually removes it from its dungeon.” Nico suggested.
“Either way, it certainly seems to bring out some… interesting behavior from your cute new recruit.”
Nico glared at the other girl. “I haven’t recruited her… yet.”
“Oh c’mon, Nicocchi, you and I both know she’s your type.” Nozomi said with a laugh. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you checking her out at dinner the other night. I’ve a feeling you’re enjoying this more than you want to admit, even to yourself.”
Nico sighed and gave another glance toward the still sleeping Maki. Before remembering who was watching, she brushed a stray strand of red out of the girl’s face.
“It would be cuter if the curse didn’t make her so clingy…” Nico decided to try for a balance between conceding Nozomi’s point while retaining some of her initial cantankerousness. The situation did still bother her after all.
“Perhaps.” Nozomi seemed willing to let that stand. “Anyway, I sent word to RinPana, so they’ll be dropping by any day now. I figure Hanayo-chan is the best choice to help you figure out how to ameliorate the curse.” She turned to leave. “Oh, and lunch is ready when you two decide to get out of bed.” She paused and looked over her shoulder with a mischievous grin. “But don’t take too long…” She laughed and easily dodged the pillow Nico threw at her.
Once the purple-haired menace had departed, Nico turned her attention to the sleeping redhead still snuggled against her. While part of her wanted to hop out of bed and get back to her duties, she couldn’t deny that another part wanted to stay where she was. Perhaps… just maybe, a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt… While staring at the ceiling, Nico’s mind started wandering through thoughts on how to handle a cursed Maki.
Author’s Notes continued in Followup Post
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spaceorphan18 · 6 years ago
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Finding Kurt Hummel: Old Dogs, New Tricks
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Masterpost
5x19: Old Dogs, New Tricks
Previously on Glee: Everyone else is doing things - while Kurt has his collections of neckerchiefs.   Kinda wondering if Chris wrote that one, lol.   
So....  Yeah, this is the episode that Chris Colfer wrote.  And what do I think of it? Because I know you guys are all here for my very professional opinion on all these things... lol.  It’s... fine.  There are some things that really work -- Santana as a publicist - excellent!! Sam and Mercedes’s relationship issues -- great.  Dogs dragging Lea Michele down the road because of her bratty behavior - totally here for that.  Honestly, I think the Kurt portion of the story may be the weakest aspect of this episode, but this is Chris’s first try at a TV script, and I think he’s done a lot better than a lot of people out there -- including whoever wrote I Kissed a Girl, ug.  
I do think there’s some dialogue that’s a little stiff, and Chris has a tendency to write a little on the cheesy side, but I’m really sad that season 6 wasn’t longer to give him another go at it, cause I think TV writing might have been a good avenue for him.  And I really hope that some day he gets to head his own TV show - because I think it’s something he’d do rather well at.  So - that’s my two cents. 
I will say - this episode is mostly stand alone.  And with the season drawing to a close -- I really am missing those extra two episodes that were chopped off the end of the season.  I really would have liked to play around in this sandbox for a tad bit longer, as I think there were most definitely more stories to tell.  At least I am grateful for what we got. 
Problem Child
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So, I’m not going to spend much time (or really at all) trying to figure out how Chris feels about this or that as evident through the script.  I mean -- TV is a collaborative process -- and even if Chris wrote the script, I’m sure a lot of people still had their input, and he didn’t direct it, so...  But I think this still is a good indicator about how he felt about Rachel.  I mean...  yeah, it’s probably how we all feel about Rachel, tbh.  
 So as we open -- Kurt wants to see a movie, but, well, Blaine is too busy doing stuff with June, Santana just doesn’t want to, and Rachel’s freaking out that image is being tarnished because she fucked up in the previous episode.  And, as most things do, it becomes all about Rachel.  Santana, however, steps up to be her publicist -- which is -- incredibly inspired!! Can I just keep the headcanon that Santana sticks to being a publicist, this is a fantastic choice for her.  Thank you, Chris, for this.  
Anyway - Kurt’s more than annoyed -- and even has to tell Rachel to keep her voice down because they’re in side -- because he is, more often than not, Rachel’s care giver.  Because seriously, this girl cannot seem to function on her own.  
So -- here’s my thing.  This script is a little awkward going forward -- a lot of it is Kurt harping on how his ‘friends’ aren’t there for him, though only specifically focusing on Rachel.  And while I think the Rachel was the safest route to go, and one that’s been clearly building for a while, I do think it might have been interesting to see how that played out with others -- such as Mercedes or Santana or even Blaine.  (Though, honestly, I’m glad Chris did the smart thing and not include a lot of Blaine in this script.  I totally get why he did -- because he really didn’t want to be harassed about it -- and that was the wisest choice for him.) 
Oh and then to everyone’s shock - Rachel goes to yell at someone for putting their dog in their purse.  I mean, is this an LA thing? I kinda wonder if this is an LA thing that pisses Chris off and he gets to yell through Rachel.  It kinda feels like it, lol.  Anyway... Kurt’s in the background, but his ‘wtf are you doing’ look is classic. 
Pillsbury
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So - this episode has to do with three of Chris’s favorite things: 1. Dogs (animals); 2. Old People; and 3. Fairy tales.  I mean - I don’t think it gets much Chris-ish than that -- unless you wanted to throw in aliens.  I do find it hilarious that he brings all these things to Kurt, because they aren’t really there before -- but it seems to fit in pretty well.  
Anyway - we get June Squibb in the form of Maggie Banks (Do you see -- it’s a combo of Maggie Smith and Mrs Banks from Mary Poppins -- at least that’s what I assume is the inspiration.) I’m not going to talk too much about June Squibb’s performance -- because it’s awkward at best  (I can’t tell if it’s her acting or if it’s the lines).  But it makes a ton of sense that this actress just coming into her own in her 80s is who they got to play the part.  I assume Chris adored working with her.  
Anyway, this old folks home is doing a rendition of Peter Pan (get it - cause they’re old, and they want to stay young forever -- this script is full of stuff like this.  I can’t tell if it’s clever or not.)  And Maggie’s gonna start screaming elder abuse if the poster doesn’t go up in the diner.  But -- that doesn’t stop her from noticing that Kurt’s full of his usual ennui.  
Hilariously, he says he files all his problems away and lets it out during an episode of Long Island Medium.  (This is another Chris-ism.  Yeah, I can’t stop pointing these out.)  While questionable choice of reality TV aside, I do think this is a fascinating beat for Kurt -- he’s internalizing all of his issues.  Maybe it’s cause no matter how far he gets in his life, and partially cause he does have super involved in themselves friends, Kurt’s not one to reach out when he’s got issues.  THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING KURT!!
You wanna know why Kurt and Blaine break up a second time? Cause Kurt pretty much sucks at letting people know he’s struggling with something.  He thinks he can fix everything himself, and you know what? You can’t sweetie -- so talk to people! 
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Well -- here he gets to talk to June, and let’s it out that he’s feeling a little left behind lately.  Santana’s starring in vaginal cream commercials, Mercedes’s is becoming the next Beyonce, Blaine has found a sugar mama, and Rachel has already hit her mid-40s where she’s fucking up her Broadway career for a shot at TV.  And Kurt feels like he’s gotten nowhere.  Which -- yeah he hasn’t.  And that’s not a bad thing, not really, since he’s the only one on a sure and steady course, but when everyone around you feels like they’re miles ahead in their lives, it can feel heavy being the only one not /there/.  (I getcha kiddo, I really do.) 
Also - I think it’s hilarious that he says he’s the mother in a Nancy Myers movie.  (That is so Kurt, and so Chris.)  And, god, yeah, let someone else take over handling Rachel.  Geez. 
Kurt then finds out that his therapy session is with /The/ Maggie Banks -- the woman who once starred in the worst Broadway show of all time, a musical about Helen Keller.  (Eesh)  And after being awkwardly asked to come back to the home, she invites him back to watch them rehearse.  Sure - why not, he doesn’t have anything else to do.  
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Look at what a happy little goober he is -- he’s gonna hang out with old people! 
Broadway Bitches
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Oh Broadway Bitches.  I have a heancanon that Chris came up with this at 2 in the morning and immediately texted Ashley cause he thought it was so funny.  Is it clever? Yes.  Is it something I’d use as a name for an organization dealing with kids? No...  But moving on... 
Can I just reiterate that Santana as a publicist is hilarious.  Also her line -- ‘a designer so fancy I can’t even pronounce his name, there’s hardly any vowels’ is a line Chris probably came up with way back on the season 1 press tour and never got to use. 
Anyway -  to rehabilitate her image, Rachel, Santana, and Mercedes are going to do a show.  And Kurt wants in -- cause Chris remembers continuity and Dani’s off doing roller derby and Elliott’s at a yoga retreat so no more One Tree Hill.  You know - I hate to say this - but I kinda see why he’s not invited here, cause it is about imaging - but they don’t have to be such awful people about telling him no.  
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Santana actually says if he’s there he’d probably pull focus which is a) meta and b) probably true.  But Kurt’s rightfully hurt.  They get to continue to roll around in their self-involvement while Kurt gets to be shoved aside.  Again.  
I’m kinda surprised Kurt hasn’t taken up a drinking problem at this point. 
Memories
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So Kurt goes to check out the retirement home.  They’re getting ready for their production -- and there are three different headshots of Maggie on that board.  Just saying.  Kurt thinks it’s pretty cool.  And I mean -- I think there is a cool story there to be told about actors who are now considered over their prime when in fact they’re still awesome and kicking butt.  
This episode is going to be a bit heavy handed about it -- cause as much as I love Chris, he’s incredibly heavy handed in his writing -- but it’s a nice sentiment.  And I do think it’s proper that Kurt would be infatuated with stars of old.  
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I don’t really have any thing to add -- it’s just a nice shot of Kurt.  He’s amused by this sweet little production. 
Also! I suppose it’s time to bring up Billy Dee Williams and Tim Conway, who have really minor roles in this episode.  I kinda wish they were in it more - their characters are a bit fun.  
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And then the woman who plays Peter dies.  Okay, so I kinda find the dark humor funny.  (Also Chris-ism.)  It’s fine guys.  I’m sure she had a delightful life.  
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After the commercial break, and after Maggie’s irritation that the dead woman was selfish for dying and ruining the production, we get some more heavy handed commentary about how old people need a reason to keep on living.  Which -- is fine? Chris not to edit your script but you gotta work on more showing and less telling 
And then we get this weird beat of Tim Conway wanting to sit on the chair.  Move kid - it’s his chair! idk. I think it’s funny? 
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Kurt claims he can fill in, unless they have rules against that.  They only really have two rules -- a) don’t loose your teeth and b) take the correct meds.  Sure.  The guy claiming he was a pterodactyl however steals the show with his delivery. It’s absolutely hilarious.  
Meanwhile - Kurt goes on to say how much he adored Mary Martin’s Peter Pan back in the day (which explains a lot.  Also Chris-ism.  Five bucks that was one of Chris’s favorite movies as a kid.)  Anyway - he also still sings like a girl so he can totally take it on.  
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The retirement home has standards so they have to at least have to hear him sing -- which is great! Cause Kurt always carries around sheet music just in case, lol.  That’s such a Glee-esque line.  What?  
And then Kurt sings a perfectly adequate version of Memory from Cats.  
Okay - I don’t have a lot to say about it, tbh.  It’s nice, Chris sounds just fine on it -- and I’d guess this would be his last solo of the series if Maggie didn’t come in at the end.  But, you know, the song is more about cherishing the memory of these actors -- and people in general who are worth remembering for their great accomplishments - even if they aren’t doing as such any more.  Again - a nice sentiment.  But I don’t really have anything to meta about on Kurt.  
Also I don’t like this song (I’m sorry! don’t send me hate mail).  
By the end - Kurt’s inspired everyone to get up and keep on living.  And has proven to himself that he can handle Andrew Lloyd Weber.  
Btw - the couple of guys dressed up as the lost boys are super cute.  
Homocchio (Ha!) 
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The scene before this, btw, is Rachel being dragged by dogs a block.  I mean - it’s funny, yes, but also, c’mon -- are you really going to tell me it’s not at least a little bit of payback? 
Anyway - Kurt bounces in to let Rachel and Santana know that he’s scored the role of Peter in a retirement home’s production of Peter Pan -- to which they are like - eh, okay, nice try Kurt.  And well, Kurt doesn’t take that too well.  I mean, sometimes a role is a role -- and Kurt’s obviously excited about it -- so if you’re a good friend, you suck it up and at least congratulate your friend.  I mean seriously.  But this is Rachel and Santana -  Santana mocks him and Rachel gets incredibly self-involved.  This has been the case since season 1 - so I’m not sure what Kurt was expecting. 
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Kurt asks them to go - but they say no.  Santana’s honest about it being dumb, but Rachel claims she has her image to keep up and her stuff is more important.  And Kurt finally lets her have it -- he’s right, she calls him day and night to fix her shit, but when is she ever there for her? Honestly, this rant could have gone on for another five minutes.  It’s nice to see that I’m not the only one irritated by the unbalanced Hummelberry dynamic that’s been going on since season 3.  
Kurt storms out of there cause seriously, he’s had enough. 
Dress Rehearsal 
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Hey - it’s time for an awkward dress rehearsal with some pretty entertaining jokes and some more heavy handedness about how you’re only as young as you feel.  I don’t think it’s a bad idea -- but does every scene have to have a speech about it?  
Anyway - Kurt’s sweet in his attempt to inspire them and himself, and suggests updating the music.  
Btw - there’s this line: Ever since you were a question on Jeopardy, you’ve been a know-it-all.  (ha! that made me laugh) 
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And then we get some back story on Maggie - how she sends herself flowers because her daughter is estranged.  And Kurt feels sad.   I mean there’s some stuff in there about how Maggie’s daughter is like Kurt’s friends -- not really there when needed, which again, is a nice parallel. I’m just not really fond of Kurt feeling like he’s gotta fix things with Maggie instead of trying to fix things with his friends.  YMMV.
I Hate This Scene - Yup, I’m Going With That as a Header
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So - Kurt claims he caused an oil spill in a national park and gets himself in to see Maggie’s daughter.  Oh my god - Kurt, no... At least Clara directly calls security (one guy - cause it’s Kurt) and then when Kurt claims it’s about his mother -- she thinks he’s ‘dating’ her to get her money.  
Oh, god, Chris, why did you write this scene?? 
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So here’s my real issue.  The crux of it is about Kurt trying to get Clara to see her mom again cause Maggie misses her so much.  But Clara tells him that basically -- Clara was emotionally abusive to her, which is why Clara doesn’t go see her.  And then Kurt gives a song and dance about why she should just get over that -- and omg NO KURT NO! 
Look - I get the sentiment here -- that we should maybe try to make amends before it’s too late.  But - Clara made the healthy choice of cutting out an abusive family member and looks like she’s just doing fine on her own.  And to have a stranger, who has no understanding of the situation come in an tell you to try to fix it is over stepping like whoa.  Kurt is so in the wrong here - and I can’t even a little bit defend him.  
This story would have worked just fine if Maggie had her regrets and talked to Kurt about living his life and not having them -- it wasn’t needed for Kurt to fix Maggie and give her a happy ending.  Stories don’t always need to have happy endings to make their point.  
Anyway - Clara rightfully throws him out.  But not before Kurt goes on to talk about how his mom died and he wished he’d had one - so she should be grateful that she does. And be the better person and take care of Maggie now that she’s old - even if she sucked as a parent.  Again - no - this is also emotional manipulation.  Kurt, no! Stop! This scene is just... no!! 
I am glad that Clara just doesn’t say anything and gets him out of there.  
My Old Ladies Are Better Than Yours
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To make up for the atrocity that was that previous scene - we get a Klaine scene that is really quite beautiful in its simplicity.  Chris didn’t have to put this in here -- but he did, and I’m grateful, because it’s sweet and warm and old married-like, and while Blaine really isn’t in this episode, I’m glad that they were allowed to have this small moment and leave the drama for someone else to write. 
So -- Blaine jokes that he’s missing stuff with June to be there for Kurt -- but ultimately, of course he’s there for Kurt.  Because he’ll always be there for Kurt.  Like I said earlier -- this story is more about Kurt’s issues with Rachel (and himself for feeling like he’s going nowhere) more than anything having to do with Blaine.  
I do think it’s interesting that Blaine comments on how happy Kurt’s been -- and how that hasn’t been the case lately.  I like that Blaine’s checking in, even if Kurt isn’t fully open.  Kurt admits that he feels like this role is finally a step forward in his life, and being with the retirement group is giving him something that he’s been missing -- but I do think there’s an underlying sadness that Kurt’s not addressing.  
Kurt’s not opening up to Blaine about his insecurities and his feelings -- and that is going to cause a problem.  While they are mostly fine -- I do think Kurt’s continued withdrawal from admitting how he feels is going to blow up in his face later.  Communication is key, guys, do it! 
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How adorable is Kurt in this outfit? :) 
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The other thing I really love about this scene is the casual intimacy of familiarity.  They are an old married couple in this scene -- from Blaine helping Kurt with his costume, to Kurt telling Blaine to sit a row back cause Gladys can’t keep solids down.  It’s not in-your-face affection - it’s light touches and smiles and I really love that during this arc they finally allowed Klaine to have that. 
Peter Pan
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Before the show - Kurt asks Maggie if she’d like to be his family, since their own families are too busy for them.  It’s a sweet moment - but I’m also like -- Kurt, seriously -- talk to your friends!! But yeah, sometimes you do need to carve out your family where you can find it.  Non-tradition is an okay thing. 
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For reasons I don’t fully understand, Kurt breaks down and calls Rachel -- apologizing for yelling at her (seriously?) and tells her he hopes her own show goes alright.  Kurt’s a good egg.  Rachel’s lucky to have him as a friend.  
She rushes him off the phone -- but only because she’s sitting with the rest of the gang waiting for his show to start.  And he’s stupidly excited.  See -- they love you Kurt -- they do!!  (Plus, it’s my headcanon that Blaine had something to do with rounding them all up...) 
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And... then we get the whole reason Chris wrote the episode -- so he could fly around as Peter Pan while singing Madonna’s Lucky Star, with an entourage of old people in the background.  Lol.  The whole thing is cute and ridiculous and cute.  And of course, it works for the show, and gives a chance to Chris Kurt to completely geek out.  I mean, yes, I know, Kurt in that costume, but the old people are also ridiculously adorable in this scene. 
I’m not sure about the whole old people turning into little kids thing (man with the heavy handedness, the metaphor works fine without it) but it’s nearly blink and you miss it, so I won’t really even comment. 
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Clara ends up showing up and reconciling with Maggie.  And I have a cold, dead heart because the scene just doesn’t work for me.  Like I said earlier -- not everything has to have a happy ending. 
But at the end of the day, this show is still Glee. 
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But the important thing is that Kurt’s friends all showed up.  Rachel gushes that some day they’ll be old folks in a home (eesh) and Sam goes straight for the crotch to comment on the harness squeezing, um, things, lol.  But ultimately - Rachel’s set it up so that the old folks can come do the performance again -- so we can combine old people with puppies and could this episode be any cuter?  The only thing missing is aliens. 
Kurt: What do you say, Maggie, you think you got a second act in you? Maggie: I never used to believe in second acts.  But you’ve proven me wrong.
Omg.  Chris - this should be your submission for a place on the staff of a Disney show. 
Take Me Home
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See -- look how adorable? 
After a rousing speech from Rachel about being shallow is dumb and you should care about things that are bigger than you are -- they break out into a chorus of Take Me Home.  And this is where I appreciate Lea Michele - because she’s able to sell the incredibly cheesy dialogue better than June Squibb.  I mean, look, I like cheesy - I do -- but it’s dialed up to 11 in this episode.  Chris, I love you to death, but you don’t have to try so hard to get your point across <3 
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I’m sorry if I came off as extra harsh about the episode -- I don’t think it’s bad, and it’s certainly better than about half the other episodes of the show.  I think it’s just me nitpicking - cause I do adore Chris and I really want him to push himself to be better.  This is a great first try, and I really do hope he gets more tries in the future -- cause I do think he has potential.  I just want someone there to soften the rougher edges of his writing.  That’s all. 
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And the episode ends with a mutual love fest for everyone.  Cause it’s not a true Glee ending without everyone barfing glitter and rainbows.  Lol, I’m only half being facetious - it’s cute, and a little wrong about Rachel, but fits the episode perfectly.
Oh my goodness - one more season 5 episode left... 
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shirlleycoyle · 4 years ago
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My Life as a Meme: ‘I Can’t Believe You’ve Done This’ Revisited
In November 2007, an entirely contextless video of me being punched in the face went viral. You might have seen it. It still does the rounds every couple of months, often when something notably bad happens that warrants a response of disbelief. In these strange times, it’s managed to remain endlessly prescient.
For the uninitiated, the video in question is an 11-second clip in which, aged 16, I appear wearing a dressing gown cord around my head, a chain necklace, some children’s sunglasses and a black T-shirt. I sit down and address the camera, ostensibly about to tell the viewer what I was thinking. I am immediately interrupted by my friend Tim, who appears stage left and lamps me. Rather than react in pain or anger, I err more towards disappointment and dismay, bewildered that something like this could happen. “Ah fuck. I can’t believe you’ve done this,” I said. End scene.
It’s been nearly 14 years since I uploaded the original video and to this day it still prompts questions. Who was the guy who got punched? Why did he get punched? Who punched him? What was he thinking? Why did he react that way? Why did he leave YouTube?
In recent years I’ve come to appreciate and even enjoy its bizarre status as an enduring piece of internet history, but my relationship with the clip in the decade that followed its inexorable rise hasn’t always been easy. To understand why, it’s useful to remember that the internet in 2007 was, for better or worse, a very different place.
Having spent the best part of my school years filming stupid skits with mates instead of studying, there was something semi-appealing about the prospect of being able to put videos online to share with friends. It began in mid-2003, when myself and a group of friends would have been in our early teens. Inspired by the likes of Jackass and Bam Margera’s CKY movies, our impressionable young selves set about ignoring all relevant safety warnings, hurling ourselves out of trees, riding scooters into curbs, and racing tyres down hills on skateboards.
At the age of 14 or so, I had envisaged cutting the footage into a chaotic feature-length video of “stunts.” I’d probably have soundtracked it with music from the Tony Hawk games, alongside countless other homemade skate videos people made circa 2003 that probably featured a mix of Ace of Spades or Guerilla Radio. I still have a box full of VHS-C tapes kicking around somewhere, which can only be viewed on one of those absolutely insane VHS adapters. Having not watched any of it in well over a decade, I can safely say that the content contained within those tapes is unequivocally shit.
All of a sudden you're everywhere and it's out of your control. You either try to fight it and get destroyed, or embrace it and try to cash in.
Looking back, the whole endeavour was entirely aimless, but aside from coming away with mild head injuries from time to time it was an innocuous way to spend my childhood. At the very least it also means I have a bizarre, tangible record of my youth that I’ll be able to laugh at one day when I’m old and wizened.
By summer 2004, we had started filming on Mini-DV, which opened up a whole new world of editing possibilities. Plugging a video camera into a computer and capturing footage directly to editing software is pretty much a given for today’s generation of content creators, but back in the early 2000s, this was revolutionary.
We’d eventually gravitate away from ‘stunts’ towards more structured skits and sketches. Nothing was ever scripted per se, but we’d usually start out with a rough idea of something and see how it played out.
There was an ambitiously misguided 'silent horror' short, soundtracked by Mike Oldfield’s Tubular Bells, in which someone chopped off ‘my cock’ (a banana) with a garden shear. We considered this to be the absolute pinnacle of comedy.
There was an ill-advised 'Ballers' skit in which we ventured out in sports gear to make a mock training video taking the piss out of a guy at school who fancied himself as a bit of a gangster; this painfully middle-class white kid who listened to rap metal and liked basketball. He obviously never saw it and there's no question that we looked like idiots filming it at the local park. It’s probably quite offensive in hindsight.
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The author at the Bristol Climate Change Protests in September 2019. Image: Shanya Buultjens
There was a James Bond 'spoof' that involved misquoting portions of dialogue from that scene in GoldenEye where Q gives Bond an exploding pen. It was funny to about three people. One of them was my mum.
One time a mate of mine fell out of a tree when he tried to swing from a branch. He landed on his back and ended up coughing up blood. He didn’t go to the hospital even though he probably should have. He’s now a doctor and a father.
Mercifully, none of this stuff ever made it online, but I did sell a couple of DVDs to people at school who rightly/probably/hopefully never watched them. In an ideal world, I'd own the only copies. I'm also fully aware that writing about this now only makes it more likely that one of the four people that still have a copy will dig theirs out. Please do not do that.
In 2005 and 2006, YouTube was very much in its infancy. This was the time when clips were limited to about 100mb and you could only upload about 30 seconds worth of footage at a time, which basically made it perfect for bursts of frenetic, inane content. As the platform grew, it became a dumping ground for skits and footage that we’d accumulated over the preceding years. Much of it went completely unnoticed until late 2007, at which point things started to get a bit weird.
The truth is that, nearly a decade and a half later, I’m still processing it.
The clip that people have come to know started out as an aimless skit filmed in Summer 2006. We hadn’t planned anything, least of all me being punched. In the footage building up to the event, I pushed Tim off the chair, he fell and hit his head on a filing cabinet off-camera. Rather than react to Tim, I sat down and proceeded to ad lib something that I’d venture to guess would have been considerably less funny than the act of violence that followed. Unprompted, Tim upsided me and I reacted with an inexplicable, completely incredulous response, which has followed me online ever since.
The footage sat on a tape until July 2007 when I decided to upload a brief segment under an ambiguous title. Fast forward to November and the video had somehow blown up, had its comments section relentlessly spammed, been ripped countless times and had offensive Wiki pages written about it. I also received a few direct messages which could at best have been described as ‘worrying’ and at worst ‘threatening,’ which was nice.
To this day, I’m none the wiser as to how it blew up in the way it did. I originally uploaded the video under the title ‘ ___________’ but the video somehow found its way onto 4chan where it spread like wildfire. The earliest mirrored link I could find was from January 2008, by which time it had been re-uploaded by multiple accounts, the most prominent of which had already clocked up almost double the number of views compared to my original upload.
At the time, going viral wasn't really comparable to any other experience and it certainly wasn't something I could discuss in solidarity with my friends. All of a sudden you're everywhere and it's out of your control. You either try to fight it and get destroyed, or embrace it and try to cash in. After yanking down several other videos on my YouTube channel, I opted for the latter.
When the video blew up, I got a call from a friend who informed me that the video had made the front page of Break.com. I peripherally knew what that meant: they offered a buyout scheme for videos that made the front page, which meant that I could make some money from it.
As it transpired, this wasn’t such a great idea. After signing a release form with some pretty appalling terms, over the following months I had several unnerving interactions with researchers for various TV shows looking to license the clip. Each offered far more favourable terms than those of Break. One of them harassed a bunch of my mates on Facebook. I think he even offered to pay one of them for my contact details.
By that point, it was all too apparent that I had completely fucked it. Break had the rights and I couldn't do anything with it even if I wanted to. At just 18 years old, I had sold out. In the short term, I used the money to buy a TV, which was great, but I soon started to get the creeping feeling that this was a decision that would come to haunt me. At that point, it was easier to disassociate myself from the clip, abandon YouTube, and move on with my life.
And yet, for the best part of 14 years the questions have kept coming: no, it wasn’t staged or scripted, it wasn’t a set-up, I didn’t know it was coming and, yes, it hurt. It was also very funny, which is presumably why I felt the need to upload it in isolation in the first place. Incidentally, Tim and I are still friends and contrary to some of the absolutely insane comments people leave on YouTube I can confirm that neither of us are in prison, the punch wasn’t a reaction to some sort of disagreement and he’s a lovely bloke.
To be clear, the lack of context wasn’t a deliberate choice to add intrigue either. I’d never even considered the possibility that anyone outside my circle of friends would see it. To me it was just another daft clip that a few mates would find funny.
Around the time I’d started to make peace with the issues around ownership, in 2018 it came to my attention that Break had shut down and its owner Defy Media had gone bust. The site was subsequently purchased by Yeah1 Network, but to this day I have no clarity whatsoever on my legal rights to the video. Any attempts to receive guidance have either turned up dead ends, or led to suggestions that I speak to IP lawyers, whom I have neither the means nor the time to deal with. Incidentally, if anyone has any insights in that area, I’d love to hear them.
Having said this, there’s something quite empowering in taking something embarrassing and admitting to it before someone else can point it out to you—a bit like taking ownership of an amusing surname. I’ll leave it to you to figure out what gags can be made from the name ‘Weedon,’ but I learned quite early on that if you make the jokes yourself and beat others to it, no one can fucking touch you. It’s much easier nowadays to hold my hands up and admit that I shouldn’t have sold the rights, make a joke of it and move on. At the very least, it makes for a good anecdote at parties.
As I suspect is probably the case for old content creators, if you can even call us that, the real story about I Can’t Believe You’ve Done This isn’t in how it’s aged and endured, or even how it’s impacted my life. For me, it’s tied up in issues of rights, ownership, and monetisation. As mercenary as it might be, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t regret missing out on a slice of the pie when it came to YouTubers being able to monetise their content sooner. On the one hand, that's probably a very cynical view for something that was created by a bunch of teenagers who were fooling around making videos for fun in the noughties, but on the other, that's just the world we live in now.
Perhaps the strangest thing about my experience with it nowadays is the way people engage with it on a day-to-day basis. The comments vary from young people discovering its origins for the first time, surprised to discover that it is in fact a 14 year old video and not a recent creation filmed for Vine or TikTok. At the other end of the spectrum are those who are incredulous that someone with a video that has 9.2 million views and an account that’s amassed over 15,000 followers without really trying would step away from the platform and not want to make content.
The truth is that, nearly a decade and a half later, I’m still processing it. I love seeing how it’s been re-interpreted in modern mediums and that positive association has made it easier to accept. Charles Cornell turned it into a sad song. It got sampled in a KIll The Noise track. I had a nice interaction with The Sidemen about it. Will Smith even featured it in an insane Instagram post during the pandemic. I DM’d him to say thanks and he obviously didn’t reply.
To that end, a small group of us have recently started work on a film project exploring the nature of the meme, how it grew, its impact on my life and my relationship with the internet at large. In doing so, the hope is that, while answering some of the burning questions that other people still seem to have, I’ll ultimately be able to make peace with the whole thing.
@Twotafkap
My Life as a Meme: ‘I Can’t Believe You’ve Done This’ Revisited syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/
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verdiprati · 7 years ago
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Hi there! (I love this blog btw, God bless) I'm not an opera expert, hence the anon, but a theatre buff who would very much like to hear your thoughts on Brett Dean's Hamlet if you feel like it ...
Greetings, Anon! Thank you for the compliment on my blog, and thanks for sending me a question! I like to chat and discuss stuff.
I’m not sure if you’ve seen Brett Dean’s Hamlet or not so I am not sure how much context I need to give for my remarks. I will take a stab at this, though.
The first thing I’d observe about Dean’s Hamlet is that it assumes its audience is already very familiar with the play. I think it’s watchable even if you do not know the play well, but sort of like Tom Stoppard’s Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, it is aimed at people who have probably read the play in school and seen multiple stage performances and/or movie adaptations of it, and who may be able to quote some of the more famous lines from memory. Hamlet is one of the most performed and most adapted pieces of theater in the world; Brett Dean and the librettist Matthew Jocelyn are well aware of that, and do not respond by trying to make the ultimate, most perfect adaptation, but rather by making something new yet recognizable, with plenty of in-jokes. 
As you may know, they sort of put the text(s) through a blender. Many famous lines and familiar characters were completely cut out; other lines were re-ordered and re-assigned. A chorus, nonexistent in the Shakespeare play, was added; as well as making up the court of Elsinore, it functions like a classic Greek chorus, commenting on and amplifying the action, and also like an extension of the orchestra, sometimes adding eerie vocal effects to the overall tapestry of sound in the auditorium. The roles of Horatio and Marcellus are greatly reduced in the Dean/Jocelyn Hamlet while the presence of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern is increased in proportion to (what is left of) the rest of the play.
Probably my favorite thing about the Dean/Jocelyn adaptation of Hamlet is the fact that they deliberately selected bits and pieces of language from all three of the textual witnesses, including the so-called “bad quarto.” To back up and explain a little bit (with apologies if you know this stuff already): there is no one text of Hamlet. As with all the rest of Shakespeare’s plays, we have no manuscript in Shakespeare’s hand. What we have are various early printed editions of Shakespeare’s plays that could plausibly, in one way or another, have derived from a manuscript (or multiple manuscripts!) written by Shakespeare. In the case of Hamlet, there’s the 1603 quarto edition (Q1), the 1604 quarto (Q2), and the version included in the 1623 First Folio of Shakespeare’s plays (F1). The texts of Q2 and F1 are largely similar to each other and most modern editions of Hamlet are based on a melding of them, but Q1 is substantially shorter than the other two texts, a couple of the characters have different names, and some of the speeches are chopped up in ways that seem clearly erroneous (Hamlet’s “To be or not to be” speech is notoriously muddled in Q1). Thus Q1 has come to be known as a “bad quarto” and has traditionally been disparaged and discarded by editors trying to piece together an authoritatively Shakespearean version of Hamlet. 
There are various theories of how Q1 came to be so “bad.” I did my undergraduate thesis on the so-called “bad quarto” of Romeo and Juliet, so I spent a few months reading as much scholarship on the “bad quartos” as I could get my hands on. Some of the “bad quarto” theories are kind of crackpot. The generally-accepted explanation for how these texts came into existence, though, is piracy by memorial reconstruction: the idea is that a couple of actors in Shakespeare’s company would go to a printer and recite as much of the play as they could from memory. They would report their own parts pretty reliably, and they would have fair-to-good recall of other actors’ lines from the scenes they were in, but their recall would degrade for scenes where they were offstage. Moreover, cuts and other changes to the text might have been made in the theater in the process of bringing the play to the stage; these would be reflected in the “bad quarto” but not in other versions of the text deriving more directly from a manuscript penned by Shakespeare. On the plus side, the actors would sometimes supply stage directions in the “bad quartos” that were never specified in other textual witnesses, giving us some valuable clues about the action Shakespeare’s original audiences might actually have seen on the stage.
In recent years, there’s been some interest in reviving the so-called “bad quartos” as performance texts, with an eye towards accessing more “theatrical” versions of Shakespeare’s plays: my interest in the “bad quartos” was first hooked when I met a scholar of early modern performance studies who was directing a “bad quarto” performance of Romeo and Juliet at Oxford in the late ′90s. After finishing my Romeo and Juliet undergrad thesis, I headed off to a graduate program known for its strengths in textual studies, intending to continue in this academic vein. I actually ended up changing fields for my dissertation but I took enough graduate coursework in bibliography, textual criticism, and scholarly editing to achieve geekgasm when Dean and Jocelyn had characters alternately singing “solid” and “sullied”—a reference to a notorious editorial crux in Hamlet, one of the most famous scholarly editing problems of all time. (Here is just one person’s take on the matter.) I really enjoyed the fact that they not only used bits and pieces of Hamlet Q1 on an equal footing with pieces of Q2 and F1 but also took the spirit of a “theatrical” reading of the bad quartos as justification for their adaptation: in cutting and reordering the Hamlet scripts and reassigning many words to other characters, they were not doing anything that Shakespeare’s own company of actors didn’t do. (They did a lot more of it, though!)
Witty and intriguing little turns in the Dean/Jocelyn adaptation flew by too quickly for me to remember them all, but I remember having the impression that their version of Hamlet did a number of things to foreground the theatrical themes of the play. For instance, the whole episode of Hamlet’s trip to England was cut, but the play-within-a-play received lavish attention. (Amber Treadway composed an excellent tweet on “the most meta players scene ever.”) One tiny detail that I especially liked: Hamlet’s line “Do not saw the air too much with your hand,” from his instructions to the players, was relocated to the final duel, where it became a taunt from Hamlet to Laertes, calling attention to the aesthetic aspect of Laertes’ performance as a fencer.
By reducing the cast of soloists, minimizing some of the secondary roles, and completely cutting out all references to the Norwegian threat to the Danish state, Dean and Jocelyn shaped their version of Hamlet into a drama of two interlinked families. Hamlet, the Ghost, Claudius, and Gertrude make up one of the families; Polonius, Laertes, and Ophelia make up the other; and the two are linked by Hamlet and Ophelia’s broken romance. This adaptation foregrounds Gertrude’s tenderness towards Ophelia and Laertes; up until Hamlet gave them reasons to hate him, after all, Gertrude was planning and assuming that she would soon welcome them as new relatives by marriage. Throughout the Glyndebourne staging directed by Neil Armfield, Gertrude can frequently be seen literally reaching out to other characters, touching and caressing them; she is, in this version, a dedicated peacemaker, striving—up until the moment of her own poisoning, when she realizes that her husband intends to kill her son—to hold the court together.
Another interesting presence in this version was the triply-cast role of the ghost of old Hamlet, the first player, and the gravedigger, played memorably by Sir John Tomlinson for the premiere production. I liked the fact that the opera made use of role doubling, a longstanding theatrical practice that is believed to have been used by Shakespeare’s acting company. Besides being one of the elements that made the opera feel very “theatrical” to me, it also allowed the ghost of Hamlet’s father to sort of implicitly or symbolically stick around as an ally to Hamlet. The roles of the first player and the gravedigger stand outside the two-family structure I outlined above, but they fit into another structure of Dean’s Hamlet: Team Hamlet vs. Team Claudius. As Hamlet’s bonds with his immediate family and his girlfriend are rapidly eroded, he turns to figures like Horatio, Marcellus, the players, and the gravedigger for trustworthy information and companionship. As I already mentioned, the roles of Horatio and Marcellus are minimized in this adaptation, so the roles of the first player and the gravedigger take on proportionally greater importance (even though their lines are also reduced). 
Those are my thoughts on Brett Dean’s Hamlet, or at least, as many thoughts as I can write up in an evening. Feel free to send me your thoughts too, or ask follow-up questions!
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obtusemedia · 5 years ago
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Top 25 songs of 2019: Honorable Mentions
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In 2019 — a commendable year to close out the decade, musically speaking — Gen Z’s budding stars fully arrived, while long-time stalwarts created some of the best work of their careers. There weren’t any albums that threatened the top of my decade-end chart, but the year still delivered a crop of solid records in a variety of genres.
This year, I’m doing my year-end list a bit early, because I plan on releasing my decade-end list around New Year’s. So before we do that, let’s kick off the celebration of 2019 with 15 great songs, listed in alphabetical order by artist, that just missed the top-25 cut off.
“People” by The 1975
Manchester pop-rock geniuses The 1975 have already dabbled in almost every genre under the sun. So a sharp pivot into near-screamo punk rock seemed inevitable.
“People” isn’t my favorite song of theirs — the best version of The 1975 is when they’re fully in ‘80s synthpop mode — but it’s still very effective. The crunchy, thrashing guitars fit perfectly with Matty Healy’s off-kilter vocals and apocalyptic lyrics. In a way, “People” is a sequel to their generation-defining 2018 single, “Love It If We Made It.” But while that song is anxious, the main emotion in “People” is fury. And it’s not hard to miss the message, as Healy screams it in the chorus: “STOP FUCKING WITH THE KIDS.”
“Baby Boy” by Kevin Abstract
BROCKHAMPTON’s boy-band/hip-hop collective is too chaotic to have a true frontman. But if there is one, it would be Kevin Abstract. And the Texan rapper/singer’s 2019 solo album, ARIZONA BABY, was a stellar showcase of his talent.
“Baby Boy,” a cooing, soft love ballad, is the record’s best track. Between the gorgeous melodies and the left-of-center production and singing, it seems destined for the soundtrack of a quirky rom-com. And it’s nice to hear Abstract flex his R&B chops.
“Everybody Here Hates You” by Courtney Barnett
This loosie single by Melbourne’s finest indie rocker is classic Courtney Barnett. All the ingredients are there: deserty guitars, a shuffling groove, and Barnett charmingly speak-singing her sardonic lyrics. Barnett’s clearly notched a lane for herself with “Everybody Here Hates You.” And frankly, if she never leaves it and keeps making solid songs like this, I wouldn’t mind.
“Twist The Knife” by Chromatics
Speaking of consistently excelling in your specific soundscape — here’s Chromatics! “Twist The Knife” has all the off-key synths, ghostly Ruth Radelet vocals and general nocturnal, cinematic sound you’d want from the mysterious group. Perhaps the one major difference is the thumping, 808-heavy disco beat. But, like with Barnett, Chromatics’ sound is solidified by this point. And luckily, they’re still the masters at soundtracking nighttime drives.
“Arabesque” by Coldplay
Coldplay returned this fall with two singles. One was “Orphans,” which had a conventional Coldplay sound (sing-along chorus! aggressive perkiness!) to contrast with an unconventional Coldplay topic (refugees). 
The other was “Arabesque,” which sounds like nothing Coldplay have ever done before. It’s got a hard-hitting Afropop beat, a French interlude, Chris Martin dropping the f-bomb, and most amazingly, a sax solo that’s nearly two minutes long. It’s a weird, jazzy detour for the group — and it’s incredible.
“Falling” by Dude York
Seattle indie rockers Dude York wrote a song about a topic you don’t hear much often in music: romantic complacency. The couple in “Falling” isn’t a bad one — lead singer Claire England makes it clear that she’s having a great time. But she also calls the relationship “practical,” and describes it as a very casual, low-stakes romance. “Falling” brings up the question many long-term couples ask themselves: Weren’t there supposed to be butterflies? Is it bad if our relationship is more cozy than passionate? It’s an intriguing subject, backed by killer rock production.
“Tough Enough” by Ex Hex
Ex Hex’s sound is knowingly old-school. The rip-roaring El Camino-rock of “Tough Enough” could’ve easily been a Pat Benatar or Joan Jett single in the early ‘80s. And that’s what makes it great — who doesn’t love Joan Jett? “Tough Enough” isn’t something you have to think too hard about; it just kicks ass.
“Summer Girl” by HAIM
Asking HAIM to give you a sleek retro-pop song is like asking Spoon to give you a nervy indie rock single: they’ll deliver the goods. But the San Fernando Valley sisters gave their formula a few tweaks with “Summer Girl,” their best single since their 2013 debut.
Instead of their typically slick production, HAIM opted for a barebone, funky ‘70s groove. The vocals rarely go above a whisper. And the most prominent element of the song is a honking sax riff, which sounds like it comes straight from A Tribe Called Quest song. But all these changes don’t erase HAIM’s strongest quality: their solid-gold hooks. And you’ll be humming that doo-doo-do-do-doo chorus for days after hearing “Summer Girl.”
“Nice To Meet Ya” by Niall Horan
I had no expectations for former One Direction member Niall Horan’s new single this year. I didn’t love his previous white-guy-with-acoustic-guitar style, so I didn’t plan on enjoying his new stuff.
But “Nice To Meet Ya” thankfully ditches the acoustic guitar. It’s an extremely late-‘90s breakbeat banger. It’s less Ed Sheeran and more classic Robbie Williams. The song it really reminds me of is Republica’s deathless jock-jam classic “Ready To Go” — all propulsive energy and power. “Nice To Meet Ya” is a bit less aggressive, but it’s still a ton of fun and shows that Harry Styles isn’t the only One Direction alum that can produce a great solo track.
“Hey, Ma” by Bon Iver
At this point, Bon Iver can write these beardy arena-folk anthems in his sleep. But that doesn’t make “Hey, Ma” any less of a great update of that song. Amidst the occasional synth bloop and awkward Boomer-esque weed references (not sure anyone’s unironically said “toking on dope” in a while), the single features one of Justin Vernon’s greatest melodies. If anyone’s wondering how Bon Iver became one of the decade’s premier indie acts, the soaring chorus and powerful melody of “Hey, Ma” is an indicative example.
“Juice” by Lizzo
If it weren’t for a certain baggy clothes-wearing teen, Lizzo would’ve easily been 2019′s biggest breakout artist. But although “Good As Hell” and “Truth Hurts” were her biggest hits, those two songs came out way before 2019. Out of the songs that the Minneapolis popstar actually released this year, “Juice” is the perfect demonstration of her irrepressible charisma.
“Juice” is the best-possible combination of Bruno Mars’ retro-funk exercises and a defiant Kelly Clarkson anthem. Lizzo sounds like the most confident, extroverted person on the planet, slyly bragging about her and her friends’ prowess. It’s not quite on the level of “Uptown Funk,” but “Juice” is still too fun to resist.
“Sucker Punch” by Sigrid
“Sucker Punch” is just the latest edition of a wonderful musical tradition: the sleek, icy Swedish pop song! Wait...*checks notes* turns out Sigrid is actually Norwegian. A country that has less ABBA-style pop and more death metal.
But regardless of what part of Scandinavia she’s from, Sigrid’s “Sucker Punch” is still a textbook-perfect bubblegum single. With its bouncy vibe and explosive chorus, it almost sounds like a lost hit from 2011 or 2012 — a golden age for pop. Sigrid’s thick accent and energy just adds to the charm. Old-school synthpop isn’t in vogue anymore, but at least Sigrid is keeping it alive for now.
“Hurry On Home” by Sleater-Kinney
2019 was not Sleater-Kinney’s best year. The Olympia indie legends’ new album, The Center Won’t Hold, received lukewarm reviews. The momentum from their 2015 reunion was mostly sapped. And most critically, longtime drummer Janet Weiss, one of the best in the biz, quit abruptly, saying she was essentially told that she was no longer a “creative equal” in the group.
But at least the trio delivered one stone-cold Sleater-Kinney classic single before they imploded. “Hurry On Home” is a sleazy, thunderous hard rock jam that would’ve snugly fit on their last album, No Cities To Love. It’s got a bit more of a robotic groove, thanks to producer St. Vincent, but the crunchy guitars are still there. Carrie Brownstein’s sardonic vocals are still there. And that trademark Sleater-Kinney intensity is absolutely still there.
“Superbike” by Jay Som
Jay Som’s stellar 2017 debut album, Everybody Works, dabbled in dream pop, but also dipped its toes into many other subgenres. But the lead single of her sophomore album, “Superbike,” is pure hazy ecstasy.
“Superbike” has a bit of Alvvays in its DNA, particularly in the atmospheric guitars and whispered vocals. But Melina Duterte added a bit more California bliss to that formula. The track sounds like the soundtrack to a tranquil jog down the beach, with the sunrise in the background.
“God Is” by Kanye West
Kanye West can’t sing. He’s warbly and incredibly off-key. And that’s why I love it when he genuinely tries to do so.
Jesus Is King is a mediocre, one-note first draft of an album, but it still has its moments. And my favorite moment on the record is when West puts his lack of vocal talent on display. “God Is” features West trying his darndest to belt over a sample of gospel composer James Cleveland’s song of the same name. And he falls pretty flat on his face. But there’s something still powerful about that, like someone badly singing in church, but with so much conviction. It humanizes West.
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jade4813 · 8 years ago
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Jane Austen’s Iris, Chapter 3
Title: Jane Austen’s Iris
Rating: PG
Synopsis: A Flash AU, inspired by Emma.
Acknowledgment: My thanks go out to @valeriemperez for help editing this story!
Chapters: 3/6
Dear Struck
How do you know if someone likes you? I have a crush on this guy, but I don’t know how he feels about me.
Hopeless and Shy
Dear Shy
First of all, I try not to believe anything is hopeless, so I encourage you to take heart! However, I’m afraid I don’t have an easy answer for you. You can get hints from his behavior (if he treat you like you’re special, if he wants to be around you and pays attention to the little things that matter to you, if he flirts with you, etc.), but I’ve found that the line between Friendship and Something More can be a little fuzzy.
The only way to know for sure is to tell him how you feel and ask if he feels the same way. I know that can be a terrifying prospect, but you can never be certain otherwise.
I wish you the best of luck!
If you’re free tonight, want to join us for dinner? Patty should be here, and I’m sure she’d love to see you and Barry!
Iris sighed as she looked at her phone. Of course! I’ll see you then! she wrote back, then tossed the phone back in her passenger seat as the light changed and she moved forward again. She’d only gotten a few blocks when she heard a horrendous sound and her car jerked to the side. It only took her a second to diagnose the problem.
She groaned as she pulled over and jumped out of the car to assess the damage. Just as she’d thought, her driver’s side rear tire was totally flat. With a huff of irritation, she crossed her arms over her chest and considered her options.
She could change the tire, of course – she had a spare in her trunk. But she was on her way to the convention center and would hate to take the time. Mason had nixed her suggestion that she write a couple of pieces on the Central City Law Enforcement Professionals Conference, but if there was one thing she knew he respected, it was initiative. If she was going to prove that she had the chops to move off the obits and romance column beat, she wouldn’t do it by waiting for opportunity to fall in her lap. She was going to have to go out and find it.
She was only a few blocks from Caitlin and Cisco’s apartment. If she hurried, she might be able to get there before they left for work and beg for a ride. It was at least worth the shot. She was just reaching into her back seat for her bag when she heard someone’s car door slam. “Everything okay?” a strange voice called out for her as he approached. “Flat tire?”
“Yeah, I – oh,” Iris began, turning towards the helpful bystander. Her breath caught in her throat when she got a good look at him. He was tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a shadow of scruff on his chin that made her doubt he’d bothered to shave that morning. He was attractive enough to cause her brain to shift into neutral for a moment, and she flushed when she realized she’d been staring. “Uh, yes. I guess.”
His smile caused the corner of his eyes to wrinkle adorably and her to flush even harder at the thought he might have read her mind. “Need help?”
Iris shook her head slightly, trying to get her thoughts back in order. She’d met attractive men before; there was no reason to go to pieces over it! “Oh, uh, thanks, but…I actually have to get to work. I’m sure I can take care of it when I get off.”
The stranger shrugged. “Okay, if you’re sure.” He started to turn back to his car, leaving her mentally kicking herself for not having accepted his help just to spend more time in his company, and then paused and looked over his shoulder at her. “Can I at least give you a lift?” He lifted his hands in a nonthreatening gesture. “I’m harmless, I promise.”
She grinned. “Somehow I doubt that,” she retorted in a lightly teasing, flirtatious tone. “And that would be great, thank you.”
He jumped into his car and waited for her to grab her things and join him. When she was settled in, he twisted in his seat to offer her his hand. “I suppose I should introduce myself. Eddie Thawne.”
With a warm smile, she shook it. “Iris West,” she introduced herself in turn.
“All right, Iris West. Where to? I should probably have mentioned that I’m from out of town so I don’t actually know my way around. But I’m pretty good at taking direction.” Somehow he was even more adorable when he was sheepish, she decided.
“Oh, really? What brings you to Central City?”
“Ah,” Eddie paused and cleared his throat. “Have you heard of the Law Enforcement Professionals Conference in town this week?”
She gasped. “You’re kidding! I was on my way there!” At his skeptical chuckle, she continued, “No, really, I swear, I was. I work for the Central City Picture News, and I’m covering it this week.” Implying it was an assignment was a harmless lie, she decided.
“Well,” he replied, leaning back against his seat with a grin. “Then I guess this is my lucky day.”
She took a look at the long, tapered fingers holding the steering wheel and noted the absence of a ring. “Yeah, I guess it’s mine too.”
You aren’t going to believe this, but I’m at the convention center now. To hell with what Mason says. If I want to be a real reporter, I need to act like one.
Her phone beeped as she was slipping it into her pocket and she pulled it back out, expecting to see Barry’s response. Instead, she saw a message from Linda.
Hey, can I get a rain check on our plans tonight? Something’s come up.
Feeling guilty that she hadn’t messaged to cancel sooner since she was apparently spending the evening with Patty, she shot back a quick reply. Of course! Caitlin wanted me to go over and see her cousin anyway. We’ll find a good time to reschedule next time I’m in the office.
A second before she hit send, her phone buzzed as another message came through. She sent Linda’s message and then swiped over to Barry’s response.
I totally believe that, which is why I had Caitlin pretend to be you on the phone yesterday. Your press pass should already be waiting for you. If you head over to pick it up now, I’ll meet you there.
Iris didn’t know whether to grin or roll her eyes at his foresight.  “You don’t know me as well as you think you do,” she muttered to herself as she slipped the phone back into her pocket.
“Problems with your boyfriend?” Eddie asked and she jerked her head to the left to look at him.
“Oh! No,” she answered, flushing at the realization that she’d totally forgotten he was there. “Just a friend. I – uh – I don’t have a boyfriend.” At his grin, she looked away, pretending to crane her neck over the crowd so he wouldn’t see her answering smile as they walked towards registration.
The press desk was next to registration, so Iris detoured to get her pass and then lingered, waiting for Barry. She saw Eddie at one of the desks, getting his nametag and waved so he could find her in the bustling crowd, but he lingered for a moment longer. He spoke to the woman at the desk, and she skimmed the list in her hand before nodding and saying something to him quickly in return. Iris saw him turn and scan the crowd, and as she waved to get his attention, she saw Barry approach. Her smile froze on her face when she saw the woman at his side. Patty Spivot.
Just then, Eddie reached her side, and Iris caught the look that he threw Patty as the two made their way through the crowd. “You two know each other?”
Eddie’s easy smile revealed nothing. “Not well. Spivot was just transferred to my department a couple of weeks ago. She…doesn’t strike me as the type of person I want to get to know much better,” he explained.
She didn’t have time to press for further information before the woman in question was before them. “Iris!” Barry greeted as he approached. “Look who I ran into!”
“Patty!” she cried with feigned enthusiasm. “It’s so good to see you. Caitlin told me you were coming to town.”
Patty shot Eddie a quick look before turning her attention back to Iris. “It’s good to see you, too. Barry and I were just at the same panel, and now we run into you! It’s a small world!”
Iris bit her tongue to resist the urge to point out that she and Barry had made plans to meet, so this encounter was hardly serendipitous. Barry covered a chuckle with a cough, which he hid behind one hand, his eyes warning her to play nice. “Yeah,” she responded weakly. “Fancy that. Um, I should probably get to work, but I’ll actually be joining you for dinner tonight.”
Eddie shifted a little closer to Iris, capturing her attention. “If you’re around later, you want to grab some lunch together? You can pay me back for your ride this morning.”
Iris chuckled at his light teasing. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Barry watching them, his eyes narrowed. Patty was looking at something on the sleeve of her shirt. Iris tried to ignore them both as she replied softly, “It’s a date.”
That night, when Iris arrived at Caitlin and Cisco’s apartment, she found Barry was already there. He was in a corner, talking to Patty. Iris approached just in time to hear Patty say, “Have you read his crime scene reports? I think you’ll really be impressed by the way they’re structured. I’ve read them all at least three times. If you want, I can e-mail them to you.”
“Uh, sure,” he replied, smiling over her shoulder at Iris as she approached. “I’ll take a look. Hey, Iris.”
Iris greeted them both, and when Barry didn’t seem eager to pick up the conversation where it had left off, she tried to fill the silence. “So, Patty, how was the trip in? I heard it was supposed to be pretty stormy in your neck of the woods. I hope it didn’t make your drive too difficult!”
Patty smiled. “No, not too bad.”
Iris waited a moment, but when nothing else was forthcoming, she tried again. “I hear you recently transferred. How do you like the new job?”
“I’m still new, but I like it so far!”
Silence again, and Barry hid is chuckle with a cough, his eyes twinkling at Iris as he attempted to help. “Are you still doing the same kind of work, or…?”
He let his voice trail off, hoping she would pick up the thread and open up a bit, but she just nodded. “More or less the same, at least right now.”
Iris tried hard not to sigh in frustration, and the trio lapsed into awkward silence. It was, she reflected, the main reason she had a hard time relating to Patty. The other woman was nice enough, but conversation with her never seemed to come easily. “Um…Eddie mentioned earlier that the two of you work together.” She let her voice lift up at the end, turning the sentence into a question and inviting an opportunity for her companion to elaborate.
In return, she nodded. “That’s true.” Was it possible her conversational skills were actually getting worse and even less informative?
Iris tried not to be obvious as she looked over her shoulder, hoping for a rescue from either of their hosts. No such luck; they were in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on dinner. “Um. So you don’t know him very well? Is he nice? Do you know if he’s, you know, seeing anyone?” She still wasn’t sure that she would be interested in dating him, but there was no point in wasting time wondering if it was a moot point, anyway.
Patty’s expression gave nothing away as she asked in an even tone, “Why do you ask?”
She shot a look to Barry, expecting him to pick up on her expression – something along the lines of At this point, I’m just looking for anything longer than one syllable –but he was staring at the bottle of beer in his hand and she couldn’t catch his eye. Masking her frustration, she replied, her tone making the statement a question, “I’m just curious?”
The other woman pursed her lips and replied in a thoughtful tone, “Everyone seems to think he’s nice. I don’t know if he’s seeing anyone seriously or not, though.”
Barry murmured something about going to the kitchen to see if Caitlin and Cisco needed help and walked away. Iris barely noticed; she was too busy throwing a mental celebration. While Patty’s response hadn’t been terribly informative, it had at least not been entirely monosyllabic.
After dinner, Barry and Iris chased their hosts out of the kitchen, declaring that they would do the clean up and refusing to entertain any argument to the contrary. As their companions’ voices filtered in through the open door, Barry filled the sink with water while Iris grabbed a towel to dry.
“And you say you aren’t patient,” he teased in an undertone as he dumped some dishes in the sink. In response to her confused look, he explained, “I thought you showed admirable restraint earlier, when you were talking to Patty.”
She rolled her eyes at him and huffed, “Why is every conversation with her like pulling teeth?”
He smiled and handed her a plate to dry. “She’s not that bad when you get to know her a little bit better. She really loosens up when she’s passionate about something.”
“Like CSI reports?” she suggested with feigned innocence.
“Hey, I have read – and written – some gripping reports,” he retorted in a droll fashion. “My last report about secondary gunshot residue transfer is sheer poetry.”
Iris snorted. “All right, Shakespeare. Pass me those bowls, would you?” Their arms brushed against each other as they continued their task. Comfortable silence stretched between them, which Iris finally broke when she murmured in an undertone, “That’s what I like about you, Barry. You always see the best in everyone.”
Raising a hand to scratch his face, he blushed and lifted one shoulder in an awkward shrug. “I don’t, really,” he replied in a voice that was equally as soft. “But I like that you always see the best in me.”
“Trust me, I don’t have to try that hard.” A smile flirted at the corners of her mouth as she turned to him, her lips slightly parted. But then she giggled. “You should probably know you have some soap bubbles on your cheek. It’s adorable, really!”
“Oh, yeah?” His face was inches from hers before he lifted his hand and swiped the tip of her nose. Now that’s adorable.”
Iris jumped, a plate slipping out of her fingers and hitting the bottom of the sink hard, when she heard a sound behind her. She turned to see Cisco in the doorway, Caitlin right behind him. “Ah, we just wanted to come and check on you guys and make sure we couldn’t convince you to let us finish up in here,” he explained.
“No, we’re almost done in here. We’ll be out in a minute!” Iris said, shooing them away. But as they finished up their chore, it was with several more inches between them.
A while later Iris finally found a moment to spend with Caitlin in relative privacy. “So, what is this I hear about a new guy you’re interested in?” her friend prompted, wasting no time.
Iris blushed and started peeling the label to her beer. “Eddie? How’d you hear about him? Wait, don’t answer that. In retrospect, I realize it was a stupid question. Let me guess…Barry?” The answering nod came as no surprise, so she asked, “Why, what did he say about him?” First Julian, now Caitlin. It seemed Barry apparently talked about her a lot. Probably to complain about her matchmaking efforts.
“Not much, don’t worry. Just that you seem interested in him. What’s he like? How did you meet?”
Iris filled her in quickly on her morning adventure, then concluded, “As for what he’s like, I don’t really know. He seems nice, but I don’t know him very well, obviously. I just talked with him a little this morning and over lunch, though we’re supposed to meet up again tomorrow.”
“But was Barry right? Are you interested him?”
She considered the question, a tiny frown furrowing her brow. “I don’t know. Maybe. I guess? Maybe.”
Caitlin considered this vacillation. Finally, she said, “Well, I guess maybe is better than definitely not.” After a moment, she asked, her tone a little distracted, “What about Barry?”
Iris’s mind had been wandering, but at this question, she startled, her breath catching in her throat. “Wh-what about him? Have I thought about – no, of course not! I mean…no! Of course not!”
Her friend threw her a wry smile. “No. Of course not,” she parroted, and Iris couldn’t tell if she was teasing. “I was asking if you think he’s interested in anyone.”
Feeling inexplicably irritated, she asked, “Why? Do you have someone in mind?” Propping her chin on her fist, she followed Caitlin’s gaze across the room. “Patty? You think he might be interested in Patty?” she practically squeaked.
“Shhh! They’ll hear you!” She waited until she was certain neither of them were looking, then she continued in an undertone, “Yes, Patty! She has a secret admirer. Well, secret to me, at least. Do you think it could be Barry?”
Iris pulled back and looked askance at the two engaged in conversation across the room. “Well, I-I don’t know,” she admitted, her voice wavering. “I hadn’t really – it’s not something I’ve ever considered. What do you mean a secret admirer?”
“A man came to the door today and delivered a package for her. A diamond necklace. Thing is, as far as I know, the only people who knew when she was getting into town are you, Barry, and me. Well, and Cisco, but I seriously doubt my husband is sending anyone else diamond necklaces. So…pretty coincidental, right? And look at the way they’re talking! I’ve never seen her like this with anyone else! They’re cute together, don’t you think?”
Her stomach sinking, she had to agree. She remembered the conversation she’d interrupted; even in that, Patty had been far more animated than she’d ever managed to find her before. Could it be possible? Could Barry and Patty…?
No, surely not. She couldn’t be his type. Could she? Iris fought back a slight sting as she watched Barry throw back his head and laugh. Maybe she was.
“Oh. I mean…I guess. They’re adorable,” Iris muttered before tearing her eyes way from the possible lovebirds and downing the rest of her beer. It tasted bitter on her tongue.
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franciscoqwzx635-blog · 5 years ago
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tiditik-blog · 5 years ago
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Just one of my personal casual nuisances in digital photography is if the horizon line in a pic is certainly not level. In some cases if we are taken up in the second, this basic guideline is neglected however the great information is that enhancing your photos with the photo editing software for Windows 10 to make them level is also really basic. Leveling the electronic camera within the edge of the pier indicated that the shot was uneven this is especially visible to the vision whenever the image has a plainly described perspective line, just like the sea. This focusing tool is part of the cut out method, and you can easily simply revolve the photo to match. A grid will appear to aid you get the placement ideal if you make use of the photo editing software for Windows 10. Leveling an image is a really basic task that will get simply a couple of minutes, leading to a far more aesthetically pleasing image. In some cases when we make a picture, components of the image might wind up being brighter than we desire. I describe the brighter parts of the photo as shadows, and also the brilliant areas of the shot as spotlight. Contrast is regarding accentuating the difference between the light fixture and darker components of the image. Boosting the contrast of an image can significantly improve the aesthetic effect that has, by making the borders between these light and dark sections clearer. Color scheme modification is one other significant part related to the photo editing software for Windows 10. You are able to change image color or texture in each type of means, from changing the entire heat of the photograph just like how yellow and blue it shows up, to individually transforming the hue and also interpenetration of certain color schemes within a photograph. I just would like to cover a few really helpful color corrections anyone can utilize to make your pictures nothing but a little much more visually highly effective. The easiest technique to readjust the shade of a picture is with the hue device of the photo editing software. This alters the appeal related to each color scheme inside a photograph to generate it extra as well as less condensed. As with several modify, the secret is actually to find a good balance excessive saturating the images have a tendency to look instead unnatural. Shading photography can be very useful, and also obviously white colored as well as dark is a superb choosing for all sort of situations, particularly, construction, and also particular garden scenes. Obtain your download for the photo editing software and useful photo editing software for Windows 10 for PC to soften images and simple merge photos. Rotate images is easy with the helpful modern photo editing software for PC. Download here free this photo editing software for Windows 10 for speedy and easy sharpen images.
Simple cut an image with a photo editing software for Windows 10 for professionals to gamma correction
Brand new photo editing software for experienced to practical invert images. Learn more about flip a photo and photos sepia is simple to handle with the photo editing software for Windows 10 for PC and edit pictures software. Often times there may be a little something inside an image that you truly do just not wish to be certainly, there, just like a troublesome furuncle on a person's nose. This is simple to get rid of in every the significant photo editing software. It's simple to erase any type of objects out of a photo however the photo editing software operates great on distinct, tiny items that are generally surrounded by even color tones. This is since the recover tool has to replace the area you wish to erase with something else, and this works finest when it has an area close by that looks similar. For instance, dark point on a face is surrounded by a lot of similarly tinted skin, so the heal device can easily compute what to change the dark spot based on the surrounding area. This specific is normally for the photo editing software for Windows 10 needs to switch the spot you desire to wipe out with another thing, as well as that function ideal anytime it has a spot nearby that looks relatable to each other. Photo editing software for Windows 10 has turned into extremely complex as well as powerful and it is usually feasible to control photos and so they become totally various out of the initial. There are dozens of photo editing software and also multitudes of solutions of accomplishing the same or very much the same end results. My objective most for many images I publish procedure is usually to make them look as all-natural as actually possible. I strongly believe this is a super point to start off, also if you want to continue on as well as produce more surreal looking photographs. Tone variety within a photo shot is among the main concerns. The human eyes have the ability to generally see a broader variety of tone than your camera can record. The definition of photo editing and enhancing is the act of changing a picture, basically. However that is oversimplifying a problem that is more or less intricate. You can commonly implement basic image editing techniques just like photo color adjustment relatively easily and also quickly however complex techniques and also digital modifying might need photo editing software for Windows 10 and even more practical experience. Photo editing software is a helper which you able to use to control and enhance photos. Because pictures have a raising number of uses, increased businesses are exploring techniques to reutilize pictures as well as work with them on multiple media. Helpful hints to colorize photos with the photo editing software free download or powerful photo editing software for PC to sharpen a photo and edit photo software to softening photo for pros. Improve a photo is useful with the photo editing software. Download free the photo editing software for Windows 10 for quick and easy flip a picture.
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